Hi Guys
NoahOkGuy
New Registrant
Hi Guys,
Not sure where to start. So here are the basics,I just turned 32, married, one son. My abuse started I assume between 2 to 3 years old, I was a foster child, I don't have memories of the first couple that took me in, I like to assume that they were kind, because I have no memories or feelings of anything bad happened with them.
At some point before I was 3 I was sent to live with another foster family and my fist memory of that place was that I always was cold in my room there. The first year with them I just remember crying a lot and feeling cold, then at around 4 I remember when the pain started. I can go into that later but over the next couple of years I felt like I was traded a lot amongst some awful people that were just cruel for no reason that I can remember, except they enjoyed causing pain in very clever ways, more on that later.
This went on until I was 12, when I was beaten to do things to others. I still have that guilt in me from back then even though I had no choice.
The next few years I literally escaped to the gym and the library. I made my mind and body stronger and the only downside to developing my body so early is that I was even more attractive to these monsters hiding in human skins.
Flash forward to me know in a verbally and emotionally abuse relationship with my wife that knows all of my fear buttuns to push. I thought by marrying here i could become "staight" and having a son with her I thought would make us more like a "normal"family.
I only found this website from another member here that has been very patient letting me open up to him as I hope to do with you guys as I open up more about my past.
Thank for reading,
Noah
Not sure where to start. So here are the basics,I just turned 32, married, one son. My abuse started I assume between 2 to 3 years old, I was a foster child, I don't have memories of the first couple that took me in, I like to assume that they were kind, because I have no memories or feelings of anything bad happened with them.
At some point before I was 3 I was sent to live with another foster family and my fist memory of that place was that I always was cold in my room there. The first year with them I just remember crying a lot and feeling cold, then at around 4 I remember when the pain started. I can go into that later but over the next couple of years I felt like I was traded a lot amongst some awful people that were just cruel for no reason that I can remember, except they enjoyed causing pain in very clever ways, more on that later.
This went on until I was 12, when I was beaten to do things to others. I still have that guilt in me from back then even though I had no choice.
The next few years I literally escaped to the gym and the library. I made my mind and body stronger and the only downside to developing my body so early is that I was even more attractive to these monsters hiding in human skins.
Flash forward to me know in a verbally and emotionally abuse relationship with my wife that knows all of my fear buttuns to push. I thought by marrying here i could become "staight" and having a son with her I thought would make us more like a "normal"family.
I only found this website from another member here that has been very patient letting me open up to him as I hope to do with you guys as I open up more about my past.
Thank for reading,
Noah