Hi Gang...

Hi Gang...
A

asburyguy

New Registrant
Hey guys,

This is my first time on MS and I can see what a tremendous support it is to you all. About this time last week, I started reading Abused Boys to begin discovering the effects of the sexual abuse from my older, male cousin. In the process, I realized my mother sexually abused me. It was difficult to take this in, yet freeing. Finally, there was a name, an understanding. The author described me to a "T."

I shared with a female friend and her response was one of "well, duh." She said she had wanted to say that to me years ago. I then shared with two other men and they doubted it was "abuse," but definitely "inappropriate." I was devistated. It felt like the abuse was almost happening all over again.

Some how, a few days later, I mustered the nerve to tell two of the three guys I'm in a Bible Study/Small Group with. To my surprise, they were very supportive and offered to be ears if I wanted to talk further.

Now I'm here. I'm continuing to read this book and continuing to find out more about myself. So, hi gang, I'm AsburyGuy.

AsburyGuy
 
Welcome AsburyGuy!

So glad to see you have begun your journey of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. Sorry to hear that the 2 were not able to validate your feelings of beeing abused by your mom.
I know from sad personal experience how bad it feels to be abused by my own mother. Mother-son incest are somehow more painfull emotionally and is regarded as one of the biggest taboos.
Many men here will understand.

Blessings

Niels
 
Asbury,
Welcome to the troupe. Sounds like you have an awfully supportive group in real life right where you are. But as you other friends, we're here to be ears, sounding boards, etc. Often we can discuss things here that even with our best friends we can't talk about in real life. The road to recovery is hard, but with this group, it makes it a lot easier.
Paul
 
Welcome, glad you're here and working on recovery. These guys are great here, I'm gratful for thier help and support, hope you have the same experience..

Halibut
 
Hey AsburyGuy

Welcome to MS. I hope you find this place as helpful and supportive as I have. I too am a survivor of mother-son abuse.

Take care

Craig
 
Hi. I recenty read Abused Boys as well. I was already in recovery for sex addiction when I found the book, but I had not been to this site yet. The book was really a good way for me to begin healing, and I was so glad my wife saw it in the bookstore.

Welcome to this group. I am glad to see others begin to heal.
 
Hello,

I finally decided to join MS. I am a 37 year old male survivor of childhood abuse. This abuse was by a male teenager and on a few occasions a female teenager who had the same teacher and class together while also knowing each other. I have been in counseling now for almost a year.

I will post more as I feel more comfortable.

Thanks,

AlaskaSean
 
Welcome to all you new guys.

Take care,
Clifford
 
After reading I believe the same book, I came to realize that my mother was the start of my abuse. It begin with inappropriate touch for which I was rewarded, which looking back made me think it was completely acceptable to touch or be touched any another person.

When I first came to terms with my abuse, I confronted her about the touching and she didnt remember any of it. I was just trying to ruin her life. I realized at that point, it didnt matter whether she actually accepted the truth, because she would have to live with knowing I realized what she had done to me and know how it had affected me.
 
Hi AsburyGuy,

Glad you got your hands on the book Abused Boys, but sad that you identified with it as a victim. It is a great relief in a sense when you read books like this to see all things click into place as to why things are the way they are in your life. As Im sure your have already seen, MS is a great please for support, growth and encouragement.

Its great that your female friend knows you well enough to acknowledge your symptoms and unfortunately very atypical of your 2 male friends to denounce your abuse as not abuse. That stems from their own ignorance and them not wanting to acknowledge the uncomfortable fact that males can be abused. That would mean them confessing their own vulnerability. And you are right; when others dont believe you it does feel like abuse all over again.

Great that your Bible study group are more understanding. It is usually wise to be cautious who to disclose to for those very reasons. It needs to be for specific reasons normally reasons for yourself and you need to be ready and prepared for the responses to go either way.

On the incest front, Im also an incest survivor so I understand what that means to the family dynamics and your recovery. As youve discovered, incest rarely stops at one family member. Its like a cancer that spreads throughout the family and its secret is often kept for generations.

If you can, get hold of some other related books on abuse as well, they all help, as does reading posts here at MS. If you can find a Therapist who deals with childhood sexual abuse that will help immensely as well.

These are all big steps but youve taken a big one already by logging on and telling part of your story. Well done, welcome to MS and I look forward to getting to know you better.
 
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