Hi everyone.

[YutoG]

Hi....... first time using this site. didnt realise sites like this would exist but I just googled and it came up. So here I am.

Im a survivor. although spent most of my life thinking nothing ever happened and just burying everything. I'm 26, but have memories of things happening as early as about 6 i think. Various things happened over the years and until about 2 years ago I just pretended none of it was real. Woulsd think about it occasionaly but just told myself i was making it up. finally starting to let myself think about it and I don't like it but I dont think I can keep burying it. The same shit keeps happening so i guess i need to face the facts.

sorry for rambling. anyway hello everyone. hope everyones ok.

Yuto.

 

[Ceremony]

Welcome YutoG, There is a lot to find here, and to me a place to explore things I didn't know about, and refine things I thought I knew. The most important beginning for me was to realize I wasn't to blame. That was a big deal toward my first step toward accepting what happened to me, that is, that I woke to it, and stopped suppressing it.

I hope you too find this place acceptable to help you heal. I woke up last summer, and it took me a while to find this place. I Googled too, maybe they've refined the tags and key word search for here? I hope so, but either way, I'm glad you found it easily. I didn't know that men were trying to heal like this until last summer. It took 39 years for me, and the timeframe seems to vary a lot.

I think this place works for me because I just let go of caring whether others read my personal stuff. I needed to let it out so badly, with such desperation, I have done so. I continue to. Hope to see you around.

 

[manipulated]

YutoG

Welcome. You are exactly correct you cannot just keep denying or burying. I tried. For 40+ years. And like a pressure canner without a safety release I exploded. My life imploded and my marriage is currently ending. But thanks to the guys here, finally a therapist I fit with, and new outlook there is also hope when we tell, share and seek to recover what was taken from us.

Sorry you are here but glad you are letting the pressure out younger and safely through places like this. Hope to see you in chat or posting soon.

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi Yuto - WELCOME,

I'm glad you've joined MS, and hope you find, as I have, You're not the only one who keeps burying and burying things until something has to give.

We can only pretend so long, and MS and the guys who have been there, done that, should be able to help sort out where you go from here. Best wishes and good luck as you begin to seek some answers to "why this same shit keeps happening."

 

[YutoG]

thanks guys... @Ceremony need to work on that not blaming myself thing its really difficult cant stop myself from thinking it.

@manipulated im really sorry to hear about your marriage and how things have ended up. but i'm also really pleased that things are looking hopeful.

@bluedogone thank you i really hope this place can help like you say.

Yuto.

 

[greenwizard]

I am also sorry for the reason you are here, but glad you found this place. The guys here have been nothing but nice and understanding since I came here, and I hope you find what you need.

 

[woodenshoes]

Yuto

I have come realize we torture ourselves in recovery. The feelings that go with are not to be taken personnel. We can resume some type of normality but it takes time to work through it. Sadness,happiness,depression, are just a few of what you will feel. Wish you well on this journey.

Ws