Hi All Noob Here a little of my life

Hi All Noob Here a little of my life
S

sabata

Well Life is A Wirrlwind Of S--T Did The Theripst Thing For A Year...Was Ok...Still ..Alone...No Friends....Always Screwing Up My Life...So I Will Try Again....Sometimes Life Has No Meaning....Thanks
 
Welcome sabata, hopefully you will find some of the answers you are seeking at Malesurvivor.
 
sabata -

it's true -

life sometimes is just too much pain and suffering as it is today -

my 'misguided' father - who is so wealthy -

- one - enjoys being cruel -

but also - knocked me down - to make and keep me sick

-

so now - I am looking to others to fill me up
or really to show concern -
but in a sense - we all are struggling to survive daily -

and probably on some level all want this

i wish my best buddies and I could live happy and protected and inncoently -

but not happening now -

:(

i am angry - i am upset -

i realize life - we kind of have to stand on our own two feet despite the 'blows' of it

and make our little space - or big space -

sphere - or self protection and influence -
to help us survive -

so in a sense - we all have to navigate these boundaries -

MY father - could 'act' it - but when - the real moments came up -

like telling him about my abuse -

he squealed like a little girl

EEEIUUUUWWWWW!!!

and then nothing was said -

it was his way of not dealing with it -

not a real man -

so - just a big catty - cunty sob

m

- he'd also tell me my business ideas were meaningless - nice -

while he's got so much - and I have little ?

well - if he wanted a man - out of me -

now he's got one - who thinks he is not worth
my friendship -
or is too scummy to be in my life -

i asked him not to visit this - site
but he's probably violating that too -

so if it's pain he's after - that's not my concern

- he must like that kind of relationship

whatever - money doesn't undo the fact he
is a 'pussy' he admitted it -

so - to me - i am just ashamed.
 
sorry to have co opted -

your post -

keep coming here - and venting - it does help

to at least be able to check in - when you

feel like you need support
 
hi sabata and welcome.

I've not been coming here that long but the people here are amazingly supportive and have a lot of great advice to give.
It has helped me a lot and I hope it can help you too.

If you keep posting and reading other posts you will find a lot of people going through the same painful shit as you. It feels good to find people who REALLY understand and feel your pain.

Hopefully you can make some good friends here to talk too and help keep you on a positive track.

I'm with you on the feeling of life having no meaning sometimes. Feeling pointless and that I have screwed up my life, but as you said:-

"so I will try again"

I really admire that attitude. Good for you.

Take care

Craig
 
Sabata,

Welcome to Male Survivor. The feelings you describe won't seem strange to anyone here, believe me! But you CAN get past all the crap, and as Craig says, that's a good attitude: "So I will try again".

Just take your time and get used to the place at your own pace. You will get a lot of support here and no one will judge you. Just be yourself, say what you need to say, comment where you want, and if you have any questions just fire away.

Much love,
Larry
 
Hey Thanks All...I was Dealing With Things For A While..Then Dropped It all...Seemed Pointless..My Older Brother Had His Way With Me As A Child...I Was Around 8 Or 9...Our Dad Caught Him Once Doing His Thing With Me..i Got Yelled At All my Fault..Then It Was Forgotten...No Concern For Me Or My Feelings...Allthough I Dont Think My Parents Knew How To Deal With This...Best Thing To Do Is Sweep It Under the Rug...I Did Not Grow Up Like Most Kids...No Friends Then...I Got Real Rebelious Started Smoking Pot Quit High School...Left Home..Told Them All To Take A Hike.......Tried Killing Myself Around 20 Years Old....That Didnt Work...Allways Hatting Myself And The World...Stayed Drunk For Years...I Still Maitained A Job Off And On .....Depressed ...Quit drink 4 Years Ago..So ALl of This Sh-it Pops Up...Having A Hard Time Keeping A Job For Any Length Of Time...On And On......Cant Get To Close To People Espically Men......Well That Is A Little...But I Am Doing Better...Sometimes I Wish I Was A Child Again...So I Dont Have To Put up With The Bull Sh-it Just To Keep Alive......Thanks All For The Response
 
Sabata,

You said that sometimes life has no meaning. I know what that felt like for me. But now I've been healing for a while, and I'm in a much better place in my life.

The meaning in my life comes from me. It's how I choose to spend the time I have that gives it meaning. Right now it seems to me that you are following through on a very difficult, very courageous choice.

Lots of guys here spent a lot of time drunk, or high, or working, or chasing women, or chasing men, or hiding from the world some other way. No one else has exactly your story, but all of us have some idea how similar our stories are to yours.

You are at just the right place to find people who can understand. No, none of us "knows how you feel." But yes, each and every one of us knows how the abuses we suffered made us feel. We know what we did to escape those feelings.

Most importantly, we know it can get better.

Thanks,

Joe
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top