hey

hey
M

markgreyblue

Registrant
hey -

just a warm feeling now

and wanting to say hey to the my friends here -


we guys are important - we may be different from

"normal" guys - but gosh - thank god - you know?

yikes! - i am quite glad I am gay -

I shudder to think of the alternative - lol

hehe

I am proud of us - all of us on ms - but also
just us

((()))
m
 
lol - ok - i guess it's just darn good to like yourself!

and your friends - !!!

here here !!!!!

M
 
thanks!
 
Mark,

Just a comment from a straight guy ;) :

I am proud of us - all of us on ms - but also just us.
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I think that's a great thing Mark - good for you! Gays get so much pointless crap for the sake of the prejudice and narrowmindedness of others. The pride issue is such a cool way of standing up to this. I remember the first Gay Pride parade I saw - it was such a funny and heart-warming experience.

Much love,
Larry
 
It is hard sometimes, especially when mucking out the stalls of distorted and incomplete CSA memory, to remember to CELEBRATE our survival and to smell the joy of self acceptance and self respect. Larry, my favorite straight guy of the moment, really gets that gay members of MS have had to pay an extra price (not necessarily a greater price, but an extra assessment of pain, confusion, anger, etc., that all survivors have paid). We're not "worse" off, but our path of recovery has had a few more pot holes that some -- I hope this is not coming off unclear or self aggrandizing, but it feels good to me today to be alive, to be gay, and to be comfortable in my own body, mind and soul.
We are Survivors, and damn it sure feels good!
Love, etc.,
(p.s. and extra thanks to our straight brothers whose paths have been equally challenging and who GET IT that we are all beautiful and deserving of love and respect.)
 
Our roads have also had some twists and turns into unexpectedly sunny and pleasant places, too. I'm actually at the point where, when people inevitably ask "Yeah, but would you CHOOSE to be gay?!?", I can honestly say that, all things considered, yes.

Resoundingly, yes.

Yes.

John
 
John,

That question I found interesting. I had never thought of asking a gay friend if that's what he would choose, since, of course, we don't get to choose.

But it's great to see you're able to answer as you do. I think that for anyone, but especially for minority groups who are under disapproving pressure all the time, it is so important to feel content and happy with one's own identity. I bet it took a lot of work to get to that point, so you should be proud that you are there. :)

Much love,
Larry
 
Larry,

Thanks. I'll take your advice and do some self-appreciation this weekend for this.

Just as a by-the-way, this isn't a question any straight friend has ever asked. It's something gay men (at least the ones I know) do sometimes ask each other in the context of the nature-or-nurture, choice-or-condition debate. As an honorary frat bro, please feel free to ask your gay friends. Just ask nicely.

Hugs,
John
 
John,

Aha, got your meaning now. I get this "Am I 'turning' gay" thing a lot with students. The usual plot line goes something like this: insecurity and fears about sexuality in general > disastrous or non-existent relationship with a girl > "Am I turning gay?". We have a great student counselling service here, but a guy who is scared to death anyway is hardly going to find it easy to just show up there. As I have a good coffeemaker, a bottomless cookie jar, and a phone that allows me to block calls from the Dean and Admin ( :) ), they end up in my room. We talk, I call the counselling service, then we arrange a way for them to go over without feeling they are draped in Christmas lights. The word goes like fire - the student rumor mill is a great way to get news around - and soon another one shows up.

I tell them that if you are gay you are gay - it's part of who you are as a person. It's not a "preference" you can decide about. You can ignore it of course, but at terrible cost to your happiness and fulfillment as a person. Why you are gay and not this or that other person is like asking why is that guy from Paris and why is this person a woman. That's just who you are.

I don't really get into debates about this. It's just that the alternatives sound like reactionary bullshit to me and I find it difficult to make time to debate nonsense. Maybe I'm wrong, but for the time being I am happy to exult in error.

By the way:

As an honorary frat bro, please feel free to ask your gay friends.
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That's very cool, and I am honored. Thanks.

Much love,
Larry
 
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