Hey guys (possible trigger warning)
Nathan James
Registrant
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Hey guys (possible trigger warning)
- Thread starterNathan James
- Start date
hi nathen, im sorry things happened to you that still affect you today i think you will find thats fairly common here most of us are the same way, take your time dealing with this its not a race it will take time and hard work to learn to deal with it all, my T just loaned me a book to read called Beginning to heal a first book for men and women who were sexually abused as children, by ellen bass and laura davis its less the 100 pages check it out if you want a starting point, also try victims no longer by mike lew pretty much everybody has read it, good luck in your healing journey. BB
Nathen - You are a brave man - because you were a brave boy. We all in here understand what its like to be you - because it was us at one time or another. Welcome - and as we say, I'm glad and at the same time sad that you have found this place. We'll walk the road with you. We'll cry with you and rejoice in the victories with you. Because you're worth it. I will say, too, never give up. Never stop trying to heal. My T has given me books to read - and I will say Victims No More by Mike Lew is great. Also, I have read Not Quite Healed by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe. These books are written by men survivors for men survivors. It's different for women. We know that. There are so few books dealing with the sexual abuse of boys, so its really a big deal when a good book comes along. Check these out, it may be what you're looking for.
Nathan -
welcome and well done for articulating your circumstances and your goals. those "hopes for the future" are very worthy ones and they are attainable. looking at your list, I realized that they express what I wanted when I joined MS - and probably what many others would say as well. And I can honestly say that I have reached that place. the interaction here has been a big part of it - along with the help of a good therapist, a supportive partner, reading a lot and writing a lot. it is not an easy road - but well worth the effort!
best wishes on your journey.
Lee
welcome and well done for articulating your circumstances and your goals. those "hopes for the future" are very worthy ones and they are attainable. looking at your list, I realized that they express what I wanted when I joined MS - and probably what many others would say as well. And I can honestly say that I have reached that place. the interaction here has been a big part of it - along with the help of a good therapist, a supportive partner, reading a lot and writing a lot. it is not an easy road - but well worth the effort!
best wishes on your journey.
Lee
Welcome.
Wow great post! Great list. Please know you are not alone you will grow to accomplish everything there and then some but as others said it is not a race, a good trauma therapist is key, this is a helpful site just to know you are not alone and how others deal with the same issues and what will occassionally appear as roadblocks to your next goal. Many of us start thinking recovery will be linear: We start and there is a definite end...For me that has not been the journey; Circular or seasonal but always better than the last. Kind of like telling my story it gets easier every time and the guilt and shame that belong to the long dead perp (yes I was at the funeral of mine too) can be put back on their grave instead of on us when we break the secrecy and start to share. WELL DONE! and again welcome!
Wow great post! Great list. Please know you are not alone you will grow to accomplish everything there and then some but as others said it is not a race, a good trauma therapist is key, this is a helpful site just to know you are not alone and how others deal with the same issues and what will occassionally appear as roadblocks to your next goal. Many of us start thinking recovery will be linear: We start and there is a definite end...For me that has not been the journey; Circular or seasonal but always better than the last. Kind of like telling my story it gets easier every time and the guilt and shame that belong to the long dead perp (yes I was at the funeral of mine too) can be put back on their grave instead of on us when we break the secrecy and start to share. WELL DONE! and again welcome!
Nathan James
Registrant
Wow thanks for the support everyone and I'll look into the books you guys suggested. It means a lot to know that I'm not alone in this while also saddens me that there's so many guys in my situation. I'm glad I've found this place so thanks again.
woodenshoes
Registrant
Nathan
You have made the first step in acknowledging what happen. You were to young to understand and give permission. You will overcome the past by moving forward in the present. You need to understand no one was there protecting the young boy you were. You must take the little boy within and protect him yourself. You know what you can handle before your triggered by a memory. You need to get it out there so your mind lets it go. You need to say it over and over again and your mind will put it in the past instead of re hashing it in the present. Good luck my friend.
You have made the first step in acknowledging what happen. You were to young to understand and give permission. You will overcome the past by moving forward in the present. You need to understand no one was there protecting the young boy you were. You must take the little boy within and protect him yourself. You know what you can handle before your triggered by a memory. You need to get it out there so your mind lets it go. You need to say it over and over again and your mind will put it in the past instead of re hashing it in the present. Good luck my friend.
