Nyjah:
So glad to hear from you even if it was for reading your anger which IS justified. Sometimes life ISN'T fair that good people have to pay for things beyond their control and the SOBs who did it seem to get off scott-free.
But, I firmly believe in the old saying, "Every dog has his day." He will pay for his deeds some way, some how, some time. You or I may not see it happen, but it will.
As angry as you or Ryan may be, revenge isn't always the answer. Yes, if someday you are strong enough to deal with it in criminal court, that's one thing. I often fantasized blowing my uncle's brains out for what he did, but knew that this would solve nothing even if he were still alive. He would have won because I would have given up my freedom and used all of my energy to hurt him.
To this day, I don't know if I would have been strong enough to even face him in court.
So, concentrate on healing yourself for now. I know that it hurts physically, but it WILL get better each day. You need to focus on positive things as much as you can. Pain can bring about a lot of memories and scary flashbacks. But, you have a wonderful sister there who loves you very much and a group of guys here who are rooting for you.
You're an incredibly brave young man and NOBODY can take that away from you....ever.
Sophiesdad