He's so innocent, just like I was!

[lostcowboy]

Hi I hope this won't trigger any one, but take care reading it.


I can't seem to get this out of my head, so I am putting it down.
About three weeks ago now, I stepped out of my trailer to get in my car and go to the store. As I came around the car to get in to the drivers seat, I saw a young boy just staring at the shed that my neighbor has. I asked what he was doing, as the neighbor is bipolar, and will cuss anyone out. The boy was wondering if there mite be a used four wheeler for sell, turned out this boy is a friend of my other neighbor who just got a four wheeler, the kid had come to see him but he was not home.
So the kid sits down on the ground to wait, seems a bit out of it. As it is about 104 degrees out side, I ask him if he would like a ride home, I even say I got airconditioning, so he gets in. As we get on the street, I ask if his parents are home, he says no just his older brother. As I go down the street, it hits me that I have this kid totally in my power. I ask how old he is, he says 12. I ask how to get to his house. Just down the street, he'll let me know. About a quarter of a mile down the street, he asks me to stop and let him out, they have a trail across the field that he takes to get home. So I let him out and don't see him again.

As I go on to the store it hits me that I was just like that kid when I was 11 years old, I was just as trusting and innocent. I had silent tears running down my face, I couldn't blame myself anymore for what that older boy had done to me. IT WAS NOT MY FUALT!

Take care,
Clifford

 

[roadrunner]

Clifford,

What a powerful experience. And you are so right. He's just an innocent defenseless kid, and so were you. Nope - not your fault, not in a thousand years!

Much love,
Larry

 

[WalkingSouth]

Clifford,

I'm awestruck by the simpleness of what you've experienced, for simple it is, yet so hard for us to learn and really take on board and own.

Larry's right. A very powerful thing to experience. Hold that very close as you'll probably need it again in future.

Lots of love,

John

 

[shadowkid]

somebody should like wake that kid up you know ?educate him if its not to late already .sounds like a perps dream to me.it might feel weird doing it but talk to him if you see him again.what if some adult had seen one of us when we were vunerable and said something anything to us?warned us ? just a thought

 

[RICK57]

Clifford - it's a double edged sword isn't it! You're glad that the kid trusted you, but at the same time you worry that they might trust someone they might regret trusting!

You're right though - you had no reason not to trust anyone at 11 years old!

Best wishes ...Rik

 

[melliferal]

We keep telling ourselves that we were not at fault because we were so innocent and trusting and naive, and were taken advantage of; but it's so hard for us to believe, isn't it? At least, until someone like your passenger comes along and proves it by example.

 

[lostcowboy]

To tell the truth, I was hoping the parents would be home, then I would have insisted on taking him to his house. So I could talk to them. I feel that they should be the ones to talk about it.

I also hate that there is a need to say these things to young innocent kids, whether they be male or female.

Take care,
Clifford

 

[mphsrvivor]

What a wonderful insight you had. It allowed you to see your innocence. What helped me was when I was around 31 there was the son of a friend who really looked up to me. He was 14; only 1 year older than I was when I was first molested. I could easily see how I was in control of our relationship and by putting myself in his shoes I was able to see how it wasn't my fault.