He's having a hard day
It's so very hard to watch my BF go thru so much pain each day. To watch him relive every minute of his childhood, his abuse, EA PA and SA. Done by the hands of family. The people who everyone says "will always be there for you". I watch this man at times just crumble, and it breaks my heart. Hear his stories of abuse and am in awe that people could actually do these things to a child. I wish I had a time machine and could go back and take him from all of that horrible abuse. How can you look at a child you are supposed to love and abuse him? Why? I just don't understand why people do this horrible stuff to other people. I watch this wonderful man with so much good inside him struggle with fear, anger, and pain beyond belief and am just so angry with these people. People I have met. People who had the odasity to look me in the eye and smile. And I smiled back unknowing. How does one come to grips with their attackers when they are family? I know I relate on a different level with his abuse because I think of my own beautiful son who is near in age to when my BF was SA. I think he's so young, so small and just a little child. So innocent. I pray everynite that my son knows how much he is loved by me and his family, and that noone will ever hurt him the way I have seen people can be hurt. My son is 9. He likes to ride his bike and look for crabs at the beach across the street. He doesn't know the cruelties of the world yet. I'm so sorry that people took so many things away from all of you at such a young age. I would love to scream at each of his abusers, PA EA SA. Tell them how dare they take the innocence from a young child. How dare you take the joy of being young and niave. How dare you hurt someone's core being and deprive them of a little normalcy. How dare you take this little blank slate and fill it with your perverse and twisted thoughts. How dare you cut someone down only because you don't feel good, because you feel weak you need them to be weaker. How dare you make a young child wish death upon himself, when all children should want to do is grow older so they can drive and be big. How dare you abuse when you yourself was probably abused and know how it feels to be hurt, and can remember just wanting it to stop and not understanding what you did wrong. My child you did nothing wrong. They are wrong. Sitting here with tears in my eyes for all the people who were children who couldn't understand why. sorry just had to get it out.. Just want to keep my BF safe now..
but it's true.