helping a teenage survivor

helping a teenage survivor
F

fhorns

Registrant
My wife and I met a young couple where a former husband had molested their young teenage boy repeatedly. The couple kind of suspects my abuse because of my inferences to it and my recovery program, so they are asking, via my wife, what to do with their son.

He is about 15 years old. How could I help him?

Alfred
 
i have directed a couple of mothers from WebMD here. with the friends and family board and all the information this site is a good place for anyone to begin, in my mind. the links to therapists can help the family to find someone who can help.

i am pretty much out about it all now, so i dont mind sharing with people that i am a survivor. i tell them to make sure their child understands they arent alone, and that it wasnt thier fault.

as an outsider, this really isnt your fight beyond pointing them in the right direction, in my mind anyway. if it were me, i wouldnt mind coming out and saying i was abused, offering this site, and offering to talk with him if he wants to. i would point out that he likely wont want to, and that they should force him. i would recommend they get him help as a first step. i guess it really isnt a step-by-step thing. i just give them as much info as i can, and hope they do the right thing.
 
Alfred,

I do think you're limited in what you can do. Make information available. Listen if they need that. But you're really in the role of friend here. Maybe you can get some ideas from the F&F forum.

Thanks,

Joe
 
https://www.malesurvivor.org/Survivors/Adolescent%20Survivors/Articles/bsnl.htm

This is a link that talks to adolescent survivors--it is good.

You could also ask the parents to come to this site and read the myths etc on the home page--and then invite them to join family and friends.

Bob
 
I think it is super important to get him help in the form of some Therapy some how, The earlier the better. Tom
 
As that confused teenager, the pleasure, pain, guilt were all overwhelming for me. I only wished my Dad or Mom would have been more a part of my life and asked what I was doing when Dave took me out for a while, or looked for the signs from me, talked with me about the TRUTH about sex and the mix of feelings that come with it. If they have a person in mind who is abusing, it is time to be an active part of that other persons life!

Talk to a pediatrician, a counselor, anyone he might open up to. Give him attention! PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY. PM me!

Good Luck and PEACE to ALL of you!

TJ
 
Al, (can I call you Al???)
You need to tell them about this site, you need to help them find a therapist who specializes in Male SA. I would kill for a chance to be 15 again and to start confronting my issues. I know many people say that about me at 25, and yes I'm lucky to be young. But he still has a chance for the rest of his childhood to be semi-normal, he has a chance to go to College, go out on dates, etc.

I've emailed Jim Davis who is a counselor on the MS list out of Ormond Beach to see if he knows of anyone in your area. He needs to do something, maybe the parents should talk with the therapist before attempting anything. We don't want him to totally refuse to open up because he feels pressured.

Jason
 
don't forget the importance of SHOPPING for the right therapist. they have that great article somewhere here, hang on I'll go find it.

ok, I found it, here it is:

Consumer Guide to Finding a Therapist

Good luck Alfred, you the man.
 
>> Consumer Guide to Finding a Therapist
>>

I can vouch for the author, he is my therapist, a great guy, and I recently found out he is one of the "founding fathers" of Male Survivor.
 
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