helping a friend

helping a friend
F

froggy12

Registrant
What makes me so pissed off is to see a friend in emotional turmoil, having fucking flash backs and there is nothing I can do. It is so easy to say that one has to relive the experience to let it go. I am not that person, I do not have that pain and I want to cry because I am helpless. All I can do is be available. And that still sucks.

a pissed off froggy12
 
Hi Froggy,

I watched my Dad care for my mom for 3 1/2 years as she died of a fibrousis in her lungs. There are soooo many people in the situation you are in: you wish you could do more but can't and you're right, it sucks.

But the flip side is you've not run away from your friends pain or your helplessness. That's where the heroism lies.

Have that cry because of your helplessness, but appreciate your heroism.

Halibut
 
Thanks Halibut

I cared for my mother for 10 years -she was a double amptuee - both legs - I am tired of seeing people in agony, mental or physcial and I know I have no control. AA does teach me that.
But I have to vent someplace. When does their pain end? Empathy can go so far. And I have to accept that and it still sucks.

A grumpy froggy12
 
Froggy,

I have two friends who are also survivors. And I think that their pain, and knowing what they have been through, causes me more pain then my own some times. It is hard to accept, and to deal with. But to be a friend who is 'there' for your friend is something very valuable, and I hope you are able to continue to do that, as well as your friend being able to do that for you.

Much luck to you,

Leosha
 
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