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- Thread starterToddBen
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ScottyTodd
Registrant
Ben - "Can't handle it any longer", "Too hard... too confusing"..sadness, anger, depression...all are normal for survivors of sexual abuse. The saying I coined for how we feel is "Perfectly normal for the abnormal situation we lived through". Example, if we saw someone with a runny nose, scratchy throat, a cough and watery eyes; our conclusion is allergies or a cold. Why? That's what a person with allergies or a cold looks like. Well, there are certain symptoms that those sexually abused as children will present...sadness, anger (rage at times), depression (actually I found about 15 or 20 that when I mention them to abused guys they say "that's me"). You got the symptoms because, like us, you were sexually abused. But like the cold or allergies, you need to treat those symptoms. Many of us have therapists (and/or a group if we're lucky: they're hard to find). Some of us suffer deep pain and need some medication to ease the pain while we resolve our other issues. But let me share a real concern - suicide. I've been there several times...once or twice I've been just seconds from doing it...but I refuse to let my perps that wounded me make these wounds lethal!! Suicide, for me, was the ultimate cry of pain! "Help me carry this load! I'm ready to just leave go! Too heavy!!" or "I'm so tired of feeling this way!" For me, I didn't want suicide - just the pain to go away! My pain was so great, I FELT LIKE dying to get rid of it. FELT LIKE are the words...feelings NOT ACTIONS (doing it). If I could talk it out, then I didn't act it out. When I thought how my actions would cause others so much pain..I stopped! Ben - I hope this is helping you...I've been there...it is hard BUT there is hope! Talk Ben...talk here on the discussion board! talk in the chat room!...talk to a therapist, someone you trust...there IS ALWAYS somebody!! ...but please don't give up!!
We're here!!!
Howard
We're here!!!
Howard
Ben,
There are probably not many of us here, myself included, who have not had suicidal thots & feelings. But you are here getting it out instead of acting on it and that's great. Keep coming. Find support here. Don't forget the support & love of your wife. If you don't have a good therapist to talk to about your sexual abuse I recommend you try to find one. This article might help in looking for a therapist:
https://www.malesurvivor.org/articles/singer1.htm
Keep in touch here, North Carolina brother.
Take care. Talk to you later.
Victor
There are probably not many of us here, myself included, who have not had suicidal thots & feelings. But you are here getting it out instead of acting on it and that's great. Keep coming. Find support here. Don't forget the support & love of your wife. If you don't have a good therapist to talk to about your sexual abuse I recommend you try to find one. This article might help in looking for a therapist:
https://www.malesurvivor.org/articles/singer1.htm
Keep in touch here, North Carolina brother.
Take care. Talk to you later.
Victor
James_dup1
Registrant
Ben,
Im not sure I can add anything to what has already been said. I too have though about ending it all. I have even tried. And I agree, it's not my life I wanted to end it's the pain. Once I started talking about my abuse it took some of that pain away. When I found this board it was like the weight of the world had been taken off my back. Finnily a place that SOMEONE/EVERYONE understood. Ben please know your not alone with your feelings, and please know that this board is here for support. Support for you for me for every man that comes to it. Ben we are here for you, just let us show you how much we care for a brother, because thats what you are to us a brother.
Please be safe Ben.
James
Im not sure I can add anything to what has already been said. I too have though about ending it all. I have even tried. And I agree, it's not my life I wanted to end it's the pain. Once I started talking about my abuse it took some of that pain away. When I found this board it was like the weight of the world had been taken off my back. Finnily a place that SOMEONE/EVERYONE understood. Ben please know your not alone with your feelings, and please know that this board is here for support. Support for you for me for every man that comes to it. Ben we are here for you, just let us show you how much we care for a brother, because thats what you are to us a brother.
Please be safe Ben.
James
Hi, Ben, it's me, again, David.
I just posted at the post before this one, but wanted to say something here, now.
Ben, you got a couple of things going for you, now. You're here, that's a big--HUGE, REALLY--step. What's the old saying about the journey starting with the first step. Well, you taken it. No one said that it wouldn't be scary. But now, you got company, us. And, we ain't gunna let go, so hang on to us until you get your, "sea" legs because it could get a little rough. But you know what, we're here, big time.
Your feelings of suicide have been felt by many of us. Talk to us about that. The pain that you're feeling now will lessen if you talk to us.
The pain will lessen if you talk to your therapist. If you don't have a good one, we'll help you to get a good one. We've got our hands out to you, Ben, grab on and let us help you find some solice, some comfort, some love....... from your new brothers.
David
I just posted at the post before this one, but wanted to say something here, now.
Ben, you got a couple of things going for you, now. You're here, that's a big--HUGE, REALLY--step. What's the old saying about the journey starting with the first step. Well, you taken it. No one said that it wouldn't be scary. But now, you got company, us. And, we ain't gunna let go, so hang on to us until you get your, "sea" legs because it could get a little rough. But you know what, we're here, big time.
Your feelings of suicide have been felt by many of us. Talk to us about that. The pain that you're feeling now will lessen if you talk to us.
The pain will lessen if you talk to your therapist. If you don't have a good one, we'll help you to get a good one. We've got our hands out to you, Ben, grab on and let us help you find some solice, some comfort, some love....... from your new brothers.
David
Ben
To end it all is to let the abusers win, and if you go - where does all that hurt go ? to those around you, your family and friends.
You've done the hard part Ben, you've broken their secret. Stick around and heal.
Dave
What James says here is the truth, there's nothing wrong with you - you're just hurting inside, and that CAN be made a whole lot better.
To end it all is to let the abusers win, and if you go - where does all that hurt go ? to those around you, your family and friends.
You've done the hard part Ben, you've broken their secret. Stick around and heal.
Dave