HELP PLEASE

[whome]

Hi all
I am looking at running an awareness campaign here in South Africa to raise awareness about male survivors, and also to start dispelling the myths about males as victims of Sexual abuse and rape.
What I would like from you guys is the following:-
1) What is it that got you to sit up and realize that you were a Male Survivor
2) What do you feel would get the message out there, men are victims too

What I am trying to achieve here is to get men to realize that their abuse did impact on their lives negatively and try to encourage them to seek healing.
The other aim is to get the Rape Crisis centers to change the way that they portray rape. It is always a picture of a woman that appears on their brochure, and if they portray a perpetrator, its always a picture of a man.
Help me to change the world guys, please, you will remain anonymous.

Kindest regards Martin.

 

[KMCINVA]

Martin

These are excellent questions. I have to give them some thought. I have initial reactions to the first question. I was dying, I was drowning, I was being triggered in my home, I was in a state of despair. But why did these events and emotions push me to accept I was a survivor. I had memories of the abuse but emotionally I detached but I have come to learn psychologically I was fragmented and it caused physical symptoms--syncope. I always had lost time but never attributed it to the abuse. I only learned of these symptoms being related to the abuse after I started to face the abuse.

I will give thought and answer again.

Kevin

 

[KMCINVA]

Martin

These are excellent questions. I have to give them some thought. I have initial reactions to the first question. I was dying, I was drowning, I was being triggered in my home, I was in a state of despair. But why did these events and emotions push me to accept I was a survivor. I had memories of the abuse but emotionally I detached but I have come to learn psychologically I was fragmented and it caused physical symptoms--syncope. I always had lost time but never attributed it to the abuse. I only learned of these symptoms being related to the abuse after I started to face the abuse.

I will give thought and answer again.

Kevin

 

[C. E.]

Hi, Martin -

1) What is it that got you to sit up and realize that you were a Male Survivor

It took a therapist to do that. I was walking through the world blind to much of me. He held up the mirror, challenged me to reconcile the lies I was telling myself with the truths of what actually happened to me - and then he gave it a name. Molestation. It was a simple, emotional moment - a point about which my entire life pivoted in an instant. I actually talk about that realization in my intro (you can read it by clicking my signature).

2) What do you feel would get the message out there, men are victims too

What a challenge - especially changing "the way that they portray rape." Rape has become such an overused term that I question if its meaning could ever be reworked. "Rape" to many implies physical force, and accordingly submission implies consent. If it took me a ton of therapy to see that truth, I question how successful we'd be in trying to educate those with a more casual perspective. In any case, I certainly don't think reusing the same tired, trite language is helpful.

 

[unhappycamper]

Martin:

I started having sudden flashbacks, like lightning strikes, at age 42 that were related to an incident I experienced when I was about to turn 7. Combined with the scraps of memories I had always carried with me, the flashbacks told me the truth about what had happened.

I don't know of any special means to spread the word about male survivors, except (quoting Gertrude Stein) "The way to say it is to say it."

Peace, and best of fortune in your endeavor!

John