Help, please. somebody

Help, please. somebody
T

Tom S.

Registrant
After numerous failed attempts at therapy, I have becoem so angry I am having difficulty keeping a straight line of thought.
I have given the past 4 months to a delightful therapist who shared a book with me written by a Dr. Peck titled the Road Less Traveled. In it Dr. Peck descrtibes his level of dedication to his clients [female of course] by stating "if a client should ever be found that would benefit form having a sexula relationship...he would certainly have her." What a damned trigger.
Now when I come to examine my personal sexual history this therapist tells me she can not provide me with any input on a personal nature from which I could compare myself to. Who am I to use, the Oprah show ? Or a pastor at a large church nearby who states premarital sex is an abomination and I should have made better personal choices?
I give up. I want to stop. I want to get away from therapy but it is impossible. I can only stay in the safety of my own homw and read Davis and Bass again to myself.
Dear God in Heaven, please send me somebody to help.
Tom S.
 
I am not a therapist, but I will help you in any way that I am able to.
:)
 
Tom - I am certainly not a god & have not read the books that you are currently reading!


That does not matter - open your door & walk outside..breathe the air that is there (please tell me it is not smog).

Be who you are..that is probably the most important thing that you can do!

Sexually, with other people - well you have a choice now...it's yes/no?

You choose!

Best wishes ..Rik
 
Hi Tom,

Sorry for the frustration man! If you're looking for another therapist, I would contact the local
rape crisis center or victim's resource center and ask for a therapist with experience treating male survivors of sexual abuse. You deserve someone who knows what they're doing.

Taz
 
Tom,My history with therapy drives me home with an earnest desire to read Davis and Bass.Books and this site have been my instruments in healing.Sex before marriage may be a sin,but i dont know anyone who could throw that first stone.As for Opra,Inever could figure out how she knows so much about marriage and has never said "I Do".//////Keep digging,you will find the treasure that helps you heal.///////////justaface
 
Thanx guys, but I still must find a resource outside my home that involves real live people to help me. I can not take the self help and isoplation any more. I must find somebody, and there has to be another reader here who could give me a direction to go in to find some one who would at least evalute me.
Tom S.
 
What was said earlier was great advice. Call a rape crisis center. They can direct you to local therapists who can help you. Also, you can go through your local hospital. Or, you can go through your normal doctor, or you can try to find a therapists from here using the "Find A Therapist" option under the survivors heading. I emailed one of them recently and asked them if they were accepting new patients or if they could direct me to someone local if they weren't. Guess what, they did.
Good luck.
:)
 
Tom,

The Rape & Sexual Abuse Center in Nashville has a number for emergencies if that's what you need right away, (615) 256-8526. Their regular number, if you just want to call to set up an interview, evaluation or something, is (615) 259-9055.

I know you've been working on finding someone for a while. If you've already been to the Center and it wasn't what you needed, try the listings at RAINN.org to see if one of those other cities is close enough to you. And if it's been awhile, maybe check back with the Center in Nashville to see what might be different.

Hang in there. You're doing the right things and you will benefit.

Joe
 
Thank you for your concern Otis, but I spent a year and saw 2 counselors at RASC Nashville. The programs only male support group was shut down last fall. I have been their route, and the only male services available through that publicly funded program were geared toward offenders with abuse hx, and I could not make myself fit that catagory regardless how hard the people there wanted me to.
The last therapist I saw there broke down one day because she was so afraid of men that she started crying and told me to leave and she could not handle seeing me anymore.
I think that experience has been the crowning jewl in my oddesy with inept theraputic community; or at least since the actual rape itself at the instruction from a 'new age' therapist when I was 16.
I will try the Rainn site. I have tried it before.
Thanx for your concern, but I wish I could have someone believe me when I say there is no safe therapy for a male of opposite sex abuse.
Tom S.
 
Hi Tom,

I hear you loud and clear that you haven't yet found anyone to help you and that it feels that you never will. I also hear though that you are still willing to try to find what feels like a needle in a haystack! If you can tolerate just one more suggestion from someone who really does care, try sending a PM to Ken Singer and ask him if he might know someonme who just might know someone in your general area. I will do the same. I know someone who spent many years practicing in the Atlanta area. He's not there anymore but he just might have a network of profesional friends who could have a contact for you. Keep digging brother. Never give up. We hear your frustration and support you in your efforts to get what you need.

Taz
 
Tom
you have had some terrible experiences with therapist, of that there is no doubt.
But try and avoid thinking that they are all the same. There are good ones out there - somewhere.

I was going to suggest looking for a mens group therapy, but that's also turned out to be a bad experience for you as well.

If you are a reader and want an 'up front' read then Mike Lew's 'Victims No Longer' is as good as it gets, my copy will go with me until they bury me !

Try a PM to Ken, the networking guys like him do might well lead to the good therapist in Nashville.

Dave
 
Thanx, Taz, but I had a conference with my therapist along with my wife today, a Saturday none the less, and I have coem to the resoulution about her poor choice of ec reading and how un Godly triggering it was. We also came to a more thorough understanding of OCPD and how a overly rigid personality and set of beliefs can send a person confronted with an unrelated difficult problem searching for a discrimination lawyer or something equally retaliating.
Another thing the concensus has determined is the benefits that a support group and that form of therapy offers goes well beyond gender boundaries and I am finally allowed to start in a group May 3.
Thank you for your concern and efforts. They have helped my confidence in believing there actually can be help.
Tom S.
 
A therapist wrote this book, and said he would have sex with female clients if he thought they needed it? What an asshole! Sorry, I just had to say that.

I know that there are good therapists available. I am very lucky, I found a good one first try. I am sure that is rare. But I hope that you are willing to try to find someone more helpful and open to you. This site is a wonderful place, and there is much support here, but it can not take the place of a therapist.

I wish you good luck.

leosha
 
Tom S.

Scott Peck said that? I am horrified. Of course, I haven't finished the book; I never could really get into it when my aunt gave me a copy five years ago. Now I am doubly certain that I won't and don't want to finish it.

Tom K.
 
To Leosha and Tom K.;
I agree whole heartedly about good and bad therapists, but when you are desperate for help and most vulnerable, how can you tell what's on their bookshelf to pattern their life and their theraputic model on?
Any one here ever been sexualized or molested by a therapist? Let's not even mention clergy, because I know there are whole web sites dedicated to that issue and those abused people alone.
I was beginning to feel relief until I read my therapists book about a world renown psychiatrist's dedication to his clients.
Damn....what a trigger. And we are supposed to ~trust~ these people?
Maybe I am missing the boat. Is surrogacy a necessary component to therapy? Should I expect to have sex with them if they think it is necessary?
Kind of like a prostate exam, where do you place the boundary?
Thanx everyone. You are all great folks, and I wish I could be in your support group.
Tom S.
 
Re: sex with therapist
Is it necessary? Absolutely NOT!!!. I'm not a pyschologist but I think that would do much more harm. A person who has influence or power over you telling you that it is in your best interest to have sex with you. Seems like abuse to me.

I'm sure it has happened but I think most theripists are kind and caring and would not do anything like that.
 
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