Hello: I am a 64-year-old man. I have been married for 40 years and have four adult children. I have had a successful career for 40 years. I had regular sexual relations with a 35-year-old man in my neighborhood for two years between the time I was 11 and 13. I have always remembered the experience very clearly and never considered it abuse because I consented to it. My Dad was an alcoholic and was in and out of mental hospitals, we had no money and I really craved adult male attention. Sex was the price of the attention. All these years I have just accepted what happened as an event that was worse that what some have experienced but far better than what many others have (e.g., suffering through the Holocaust, revolutions, physical beatings/abuse etc.). Since I was in my mid-20s, after our first child was born, I have been a compulsive porn user, attending adult bookstores, strip clubs and in the last five or so years on the Internet where I have really turbocharged my use. At the end of March 2020, I concluded that I was out of control with respect to my porn use and joined a 12 step program and told my wife about my problem. My wife knew about my adolescent sexual experiences because I had told her when we were 18, but I gave her more details about my experience at the time of my disclosing my porn use. Since April 2020, I have had periods of sobriety lasting as long as 15 months but I am currently relapsing and find it extremely hard to stay sober from watching porn. I am hoping that participating in this group, along with continued 12-step work and therapy, will help me process some of these issues and give me the ability to choose to stop watching porn. Thank you for providing the site.