New Registrant
Hello I am Michael.

I first opened up about 2 years ago and that was very painful because I didn’t understand many of the feelings, emotions, and overall intensity of everything going on.

I was in an outpatient mental health treatment center and it was quite difficult because it all seemed to hit me at once. The memories, feelings, realization, and urge to speak the truth to someone, anyone really even a wall or a tree.

Unfortunately, the program was ill-equipped to deal with this sort of thing because the individuals involved in designing the program lumped everyone with every kind of issue in the same room. It was also profit-motivated and not focused on providing quality care like many providers. I was asking for help and services which simply did not exist. I could blame myself or the facility, but I suppose it shows an opportunity for improvement at both an individual and structural level.

Since I opened up and received no effective help despite my pleadings, this descended into further unskillful behavior. I acted out in terms of substances as well as other process addictions.

I feel angry, hurt, frustrated, irritated, confused, anxious, avoidant, and distant but I am able to conjure up enough of a facade to keep the peace during social interactions. I have a therapist and group that I now attend. That took me two years to find and a lot of effort, which one should really not have to go through if they are already willing to open up, but I digress.

The therapist and group now are excellent. It has been a slow week-by-week transformation at first with my emotions feeling uncontrollable and now it has gotten more manageable albeit far from being serene or content most of the day every day.

I would like to offer support and zero judgement to those here. I am not a therapist or someone who understands this from a professional standpoint, however I have lived through it.

I also empathize that even after opening up it is a battle to find effective treatment with competent professionals.

Thank you all for the opportunity to be here.
Welcome Michael. I hope in addition to offering support you are able to receive it. You are a trauma survivor... like all of us who found our way here. Yes, we offer each other support but key to healing is acknowledging the truth of our struggles and learning both how to cultivate self-compassion and how to care for ourselves. I'm glad you have found a therapist and group to support your healing journey. Male Survivor can be a wonderful addition to the effort you're already making. I'm glad you found us and chose to introduce yourself. I encourage you to ramble around this website and when the spirit moves you join the conversation. You will doubtless encounter kindred spirits here. All the best on your healing journey.

The Bluefoot

Welcome, Its hard to open up, and when you do you feel raw with no support and help or guidance in what to do once you open up you get stuck and do not know what to do next this is what happened to me. I had been in therapy for years and years and groups on different levels for different things. Thank goodness I found this group I look forward to talking with you. and I hw you get to read our stories and make connections with us. To road to healing is slow but this group helps alot.