Hello
Sylvester_Stone
Registrant
This is my first time looking at a site like this and I was looking around in the forum a bit and just figured I'd say hello, since you'll prolly be seeing more from me...
...so: hello
...so: hello
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Hello
- Thread starterSylvester_Stone
- Start date
Sylvester_Stone
Registrant
Looked around some more and everything seems comfy. It looks like the thing to do is just start blabbing.
I had just turned 13 and was a freshman in high school. A really huge one not far from NYC with like 5,000 students and room for more. A few weeks into the year, in one of my classes there was an extra teacher for a while, like a student teacher or something. I think he was just really bad at teaching and they were trying to help him get better, but looking back I'd say that he probably didn't care about that.
For a while he had to sit in the back row and watch the regular teacher, who was good at her job. As luck would have it, he sat in the far corner from her desk, and my seat was the one right in front of him.
After a couple weeks he started touching my rear end right in the middle of class - really gently as if I wouldn't notice, but it almost made me jump through the ceiling. At first I thought it was maybe an accident but after the second time a few seconds later, I was sure.
At that moment was prolly a good time to maybe jump up and say you don't get to do that or something, but I didn't. There was like 35 people in the room and I did nothing. I figured out that if I lean back so my butt is on the front of the chair, he can't reach. But eventually I couldn't stand it anymore coz my legs would fall asleep and I'd sit up or forget and then he'd get me again.
That went on for several weeks until the teacher moved the class around. Then the class was fun again but then the molester had to try to teach it for a couple weeks, and he was the most boring teacher in the history of teaching. The whole class thought so.
I don't know what happened to him but I figure there's gotta be some records or something so they can track him down. This was in 1983 and I never told anyone or even knew what was bothering me for 22 years, until last autumn.
He probably got a bunch of other kids and maybe some of them a lot worse than me. If he hasn't been found yet, maybe they can put him on the news or something so people can come forward against him like they do sometimes with the priests.
I told my dad and brother and sister last autumn. The next obvious step is to get help but I haven't done anything about that until I looked for this forum about a couple hours ago.
Much of my family is overseas, as only my mother came over. There are cultural differences which make me afraid of how to approach them about it. There's also something else going on with that which is probably the subject of another post or thread.
I want to try to see if they can get the guy. I also have a very tough time with approaching women. Haven't had a ladyfriend in almost a decade. Now that I'm a little older, hot chicks are almost throwing themselves on top of me and my brain short-circuits and I do/think/say whatever it takes to f--- it up, or just find an excuse to get far far away from them. I don't realize what I've done or why until I'm safely away. It sucks really bad.
Homosexuality bothers me a bit. Guys specifically. Not usually, but a couple times we took road trips to New Orleans and there are a lot of guys walking around in groups, basically guys dressed in S&M outfits, flaunting their sexuality. A lot of them were really big and strong and practically naked.
Rationally it doesn't really bother me but emotionally I felt extremely intimidated and defensive. We were doing a lot of partying and I felt like if I found one of them alone somehow I might find (or get) myself in a fight. Maybe that's why they were always in groups. We went into a bar that was full of them and I was BSing with a couple of them here and there and they were cool, but I was always ready to spin around and throw an elbow in an instant, if you know what I mean.
I am afraid around little girls that someone will accuse me of molesting them. Actually, I'm afraid of that regarding any females not of age. I'm afraid that the hot young woman who is hitting on me is really 15 instead of 23 and if I take her up on it, I'm gonna do life as a child molester - and I've heard that's not much fun at all. The worst part is that I could really desperately use some of the sort of company they are offering.
Wow, that's a huge post. Sorry bout that, heh. Maybe I'll think of more later.
I had just turned 13 and was a freshman in high school. A really huge one not far from NYC with like 5,000 students and room for more. A few weeks into the year, in one of my classes there was an extra teacher for a while, like a student teacher or something. I think he was just really bad at teaching and they were trying to help him get better, but looking back I'd say that he probably didn't care about that.
For a while he had to sit in the back row and watch the regular teacher, who was good at her job. As luck would have it, he sat in the far corner from her desk, and my seat was the one right in front of him.
After a couple weeks he started touching my rear end right in the middle of class - really gently as if I wouldn't notice, but it almost made me jump through the ceiling. At first I thought it was maybe an accident but after the second time a few seconds later, I was sure.
At that moment was prolly a good time to maybe jump up and say you don't get to do that or something, but I didn't. There was like 35 people in the room and I did nothing. I figured out that if I lean back so my butt is on the front of the chair, he can't reach. But eventually I couldn't stand it anymore coz my legs would fall asleep and I'd sit up or forget and then he'd get me again.
That went on for several weeks until the teacher moved the class around. Then the class was fun again but then the molester had to try to teach it for a couple weeks, and he was the most boring teacher in the history of teaching. The whole class thought so.
I don't know what happened to him but I figure there's gotta be some records or something so they can track him down. This was in 1983 and I never told anyone or even knew what was bothering me for 22 years, until last autumn.
He probably got a bunch of other kids and maybe some of them a lot worse than me. If he hasn't been found yet, maybe they can put him on the news or something so people can come forward against him like they do sometimes with the priests.
I told my dad and brother and sister last autumn. The next obvious step is to get help but I haven't done anything about that until I looked for this forum about a couple hours ago.
Much of my family is overseas, as only my mother came over. There are cultural differences which make me afraid of how to approach them about it. There's also something else going on with that which is probably the subject of another post or thread.
I want to try to see if they can get the guy. I also have a very tough time with approaching women. Haven't had a ladyfriend in almost a decade. Now that I'm a little older, hot chicks are almost throwing themselves on top of me and my brain short-circuits and I do/think/say whatever it takes to f--- it up, or just find an excuse to get far far away from them. I don't realize what I've done or why until I'm safely away. It sucks really bad.
Homosexuality bothers me a bit. Guys specifically. Not usually, but a couple times we took road trips to New Orleans and there are a lot of guys walking around in groups, basically guys dressed in S&M outfits, flaunting their sexuality. A lot of them were really big and strong and practically naked.
Rationally it doesn't really bother me but emotionally I felt extremely intimidated and defensive. We were doing a lot of partying and I felt like if I found one of them alone somehow I might find (or get) myself in a fight. Maybe that's why they were always in groups. We went into a bar that was full of them and I was BSing with a couple of them here and there and they were cool, but I was always ready to spin around and throw an elbow in an instant, if you know what I mean.
I am afraid around little girls that someone will accuse me of molesting them. Actually, I'm afraid of that regarding any females not of age. I'm afraid that the hot young woman who is hitting on me is really 15 instead of 23 and if I take her up on it, I'm gonna do life as a child molester - and I've heard that's not much fun at all. The worst part is that I could really desperately use some of the sort of company they are offering.
Wow, that's a huge post. Sorry bout that, heh. Maybe I'll think of more later.
roadrunner
Registrant
Sylvester,
I'm glad you found us here, and welcome. I see you're getting into posting a bit. That's good. Just ease into it as you feel comfortable, but don't hesitate to say whatever you need to get out.
I'm not surprised at the difficulties you are having as an adult. Abuse is a terrible experience for a boy and when he grows up it can really mess up how he thinks about sexuality and so many other things. It's important that you realize that you are NOT alone. This has happened so many others, and you are not a freak or weird.
I look forward to talking to you more here on the site.
Much love,
Larry
I'm glad you found us here, and welcome. I see you're getting into posting a bit. That's good. Just ease into it as you feel comfortable, but don't hesitate to say whatever you need to get out.
I'm not surprised at the difficulties you are having as an adult. Abuse is a terrible experience for a boy and when he grows up it can really mess up how he thinks about sexuality and so many other things. It's important that you realize that you are NOT alone. This has happened so many others, and you are not a freak or weird.
I look forward to talking to you more here on the site.
Much love,
Larry
Sylvester_Stone
Registrant
Thank you.
Also when I was in 1st grade there was a kid there who seems to have been really troubled or something. He somehow convinced me that it would be a good idea for us to go in the bathroom together and do varous assorted gay stuff in there. After a few weeks of that in school, I had him over as a guest and my ma figured out what we were up to and busted me. The other kid was embarrased I guess and wanted to leave from then on. He put on his hat and coat and sat at the door waiting for his ride even though it wasn't supposed to arrive for a couple more hours.
Looking back I'd say it musta been pretty apparent that he was probably getting abused himself. It seems a bit strange to me that my parents never seem to have done anything to get someone to try to look itno that. I remember his name and the school and everything, so maybe someone can figure out what was going on with him as well.
Also when I was in 1st grade there was a kid there who seems to have been really troubled or something. He somehow convinced me that it would be a good idea for us to go in the bathroom together and do varous assorted gay stuff in there. After a few weeks of that in school, I had him over as a guest and my ma figured out what we were up to and busted me. The other kid was embarrased I guess and wanted to leave from then on. He put on his hat and coat and sat at the door waiting for his ride even though it wasn't supposed to arrive for a couple more hours.
Looking back I'd say it musta been pretty apparent that he was probably getting abused himself. It seems a bit strange to me that my parents never seem to have done anything to get someone to try to look itno that. I remember his name and the school and everything, so maybe someone can figure out what was going on with him as well.
roadrunner
Registrant
SS,
Look at what you are proposing here. You were in first grade when these episodes began, and you somehow knew these things were "gay"? Can that be true? Isn't it more likely, as you suggest, that he was introducing you to things that were being done to him?
I don't know how old you are, but I can say that until the 1990s it simply wasn't known how big a problem the sexual abuse of young boys was. My parents didn't see it either, though I was being raped about once a week for four years. The topic just WASN'T on the radar.
Much love,
Larry
Look at what you are proposing here. You were in first grade when these episodes began, and you somehow knew these things were "gay"? Can that be true? Isn't it more likely, as you suggest, that he was introducing you to things that were being done to him?
I don't know how old you are, but I can say that until the 1990s it simply wasn't known how big a problem the sexual abuse of young boys was. My parents didn't see it either, though I was being raped about once a week for four years. The topic just WASN'T on the radar.
Much love,
Larry
Sylvester_Stone
Registrant
I didn't know it was gay at the time. It was just for ease and quickness of description. That is what I meant, btw, that he was likely being victimized by an adult.
I don't think this episode has bothered me like the later one did. It just seems important to me now because I have what appears to be personal knowledge that someone else was being victimized. I mainly want to know if there are things which can be done by me to maybe point him towards some help if he hasn't found any yet, and also possibly help him ID his perp.
Thank you!
I don't think this episode has bothered me like the later one did. It just seems important to me now because I have what appears to be personal knowledge that someone else was being victimized. I mainly want to know if there are things which can be done by me to maybe point him towards some help if he hasn't found any yet, and also possibly help him ID his perp.
Thank you!