Hello

[cogito]

I'm new here, and suppose it's good form to introduce yourself before butting into someone's conversation, so, well, hi.
A few words about my being here-
I was sexualized early (age 6), and the abuse lasted many years, even until I no longer thought of it as abuse. I always figured it was just unfortunate, but not the worst thing in the world. I mean, I wasn't locked in a closet and starved. Nobody broke my legs or gouged my eyes out. I always figured it was just unfortunate, but life is unfair and there you have it.
I've been dealing with depression and self-hatred most of my life, again feeling like well, it's a drag, but I just gotta keep on keepin' on.
I've been in therapy for the depression for the last couple of years, and only last week did I broach the topic of my sexual abuse with the doc.
I feel like I might have opened a can of worms, but I'm also sure that my emotional problems are linked to the abuse. I'm kind of half scared to 'go there', but I don't know if my life can get better until I do.
Basically I'm OK, I'm honest, and I talk too much

pleasedtameecha-
-c

 

[CFO Dave]

Cogito,

Pleasedtameecha too. Sorry it had to be on this board. You'll find a lot of great people here. Feel free to open up to us. We've all been there and know what you're feeling.

I'm Dave, I've only been coming to the board for about a month. I've found it very helpful.

Welcome,

Dave

 

[Leosha]

Hello Cogito,

It is good to meet you. I wish it is under better circumstances, but still, it is good to have you here. I hope that this site proves helpful and supportive to you. Good luck, and welcome.

Leosha

 

[Ivo]

Dear Cogito,
I am glad that you find strength to start to deal with your demons from past. I wish you the best.
And, you know, too much talking is not forbidden here.

PS. your nickname reminded me to a beautiful phrase in Latin: Cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am )

Regards,
Ivo

 

[Mike Church]

Cogito I echo the words above. Like you I felt that what happened was sort of part of becoming a man. I kept it in for 40years with one exception which led to a very bad time in my life.

You are definitely on the right road. And yes it will be hard. Just remember it is the single worst thing that has happened to you possible. In retrospect I would much rather have had an eye gouged out than have my sense of self worth trampled on.

Welcome

 

[Lloydy]

Cogito
Hi there,

I feel like I might have opened a can of worms, but I'm also sure that my emotional problems are linked to the abuse. I'm kind of half scared to 'go there', but I don't know if my life can get better until I do.
Basically I'm OK, I'm honest, and I talk too much

And what a "can of worms" it is!
But I feel that you've made the bravest step in telling your therapist.
Abuse can be dealt with, we can recover our lives, and talking about it to a therapist - or here - is the way to go. Talking makes it real, it registers within us in a different way to just thinking about or remembering our abuse. By talking, we process the memories and logic of our experiences in a whole new way.

It's painful, hard, frustrating and at times never ending. But it's worth every scrap of effort we put into it.
Stick around, we've got the best support and help to be found anywhere, and you're welcome to join us.

Dave

 

[outis]

Cogito,

Glad you're able to look for help. It's not fair, as you say, that any of us should need this kind of help, but starting therapy is so difficult for some people (me, for instance). Seeing that you're opening the can of worms is good.

This is a wonderful place to get support and to learn from other people who have to deal with abuse effects. Sometimes it's a good place to get the well timed kick in the ass, too. I hope you don't need too many of those!

Thanks,

Joe

 

[yesac76]

Cogito,
I know how bad it sucks to "go there," but once you start dealing with it, it gets easier and easier to deal with. I will not lie and say it will be easy, but it is a battle worth fighting.

I am pleased to meet you. Welcome to our family, and may your recovery be quick and painless!
Casey