Hello. What should I do with this forum?

[ossolot]

Hello, I am wondering where to begin. I have been assaulted many years ago but I denied it for a while but continued mental health issues make me wish to seek out additional support. I cannot get affordable counselling currently, at least not to my knowledge. I feel like I don't know if I belong here, but that might just be my own bias. I wanna help people too through similar stuff. Any advice or reflection would be much necessary. Thank you all so much

 

[Ceremony]

Ossolot, That post is part of our first steps. For me, the sadness of finally admitting how hurt I was took a lot of crying. I reached out too, it's not easy, I'm honored you join us to find your way. There are many things to help you here. Reading pointers, and seeing the articles written for us on the Male Survivor front page has helped me a lot.

That front page has links to possible therapy, which might be short term to start, but useful to get points of view.

Being assaulted is not our fault, and it can take other men telling us it's not our fault to grasp that. I went to a short term men's group and found out the first night it wasn't my fault. I carried that guilt for 39 years of silence. You are not to blame. We get the perspective of guilt. And the myriad consequences to ourselves from lost trust, fear, acting out, anger, substance abuse, etc...

Please post if you read something that bothers you. Don't stew in it. Share it.

Lastly, learn some of the navigation skills, and that this is a public site. We're free to share what we're comfortable sharing, but, consider your needs and be well.

 

[Bluedogone]

I would say what you do with the forum is completely up to you. You've made a great step forward by joining a group much like yourself, who've spent years in denial, but now realize there's a much better way to deal with an early childhood assault. I'm really sorry you found it necessary to join MS, but I hope you learn, as I have, that you're not alone in dealing with this. But I also hope you go much further in seeking healing, using the resources that are a part of MS.

This group of caring compassionate non judgemental guys is one part, an important part. Sharing and participating here at your own pace will complement your professional therapy, which hopefully your circumstances soon change so you will be able seek a competent therapist. Ceremony's words bear repeating, this is a public forum (although there is a members only section) and your words go literally around the world.

Oh, by the way, welcome to MS. We look forward to sharing the healing process with you.

 

[ossolot]

Thank you so much, Ceremony, your words are already helping.

 

[ossolot]

Thank you, Blue, I think a nurturing community like this will be so helpful and I really appreciate all the kind words

 

[KMCINVA]

Ossolot

Welcome. You have taken a step forward. It takes courage to admit what happened to you and do not let others tell you otherwise. MS is a place of support and compassion. We all have been where you are, taking the first step to share. Share as little or as much as you are comfortable with sharing. We all move at our own pace.

We all have our ups and downs, so do not get discouraged when you have a setback. MS has been a safety net for me.

I am glad you found your way here. We are here for you.

Kevin

 

[woodenshoes]

Ossolot

Welcome. There are many organization that help victims. Try your sexual assault centre for resources. They have services available to both sexes.

Ws

 

[ossolot]

Thank you folks

 

[Cthulhu]

If you're from BC, Canada: https://bc-malesurvivors.com/

I know they are mostly in Vancouver, but from what I understand they have some remote therapists or should at least be able to point you in a good direction if affordable therapy is what you are after.

They offer sliding scale payment - you can also apply for funding through the BC gov without filing a criminal anything through a program called CVAP.

 

[jas4159]

I don't think many of us really felt like we belonged when we first joined. i know i didn't. But after a short time i realized i not only did belong - i felt i belonged and needed to belong. All this stuff takes time.

I hope u like it here. it is a good group of people. I also could not afford the level of counseling that was needed. but i found a way over time to heal with minimal professional services. I wish i could have had the funds but it was what it was. feel free to read my story on my blog. (address is my signature.) The one thing these sites did for me immediately was make me realize i was far from alone. a way i felt most of my life.

stay strong.

 

[ossolot]

Thank you rich and Cthulhu,

I really feel supported by the resources. BCMSSA has been super helpful this far. It feels like I might be able to put this all together.

Best,
Osso