Hello. I am new.
Hello all. I am new, but want to get some perspectives.
This is my first shot at truly acknowledging the scars, if thats what you call them. I tried to do this about 5 years ago, but was too immature. Apparently, was made of stainless steel back then. Going to be 30 in 2005, and I hear this is a good time to start.
Mike Lew's book, Victims No Longer, was the catharsis. You know the story, it was like reading your own biography in a way.
My concern is for those around me. My coworkers, some of whom are medically trained, seem to 'know whats up'. The trouble with this is, I am not sure if this feeling of them 'knowing whats up' is a manifestation of my needs and they may not really know whats up.
Has anyone else had this happen?
What about attachments? I'm getting these upsetting feelings when people I know leave. They move, or get another job. People that are not neccessarily friends but are people that seemed to care or knew about this disorder, and you wanted to be friends - but cant bring yourself to open up? I'm also lonely - resisting others has become a way of life for me. I'm good at acting like nothings wrong. But, not adjusting too well alone.
I hope to get some insights. Dont worry about my sensitivities. I can handle, whatever.
I dont know what it means with 'triggers' in posts, but I may be triggering when I explain, real briefly, what the issue is now: (can someone explain what it means with triggers as it relates to posting?):
I was molested by my mother, and my uncle until I was about 10 years old. Since then, ive had trouble with relationships and trust. Mom has emotional problems and has been on welfare her whole life. Uncle is dead but was a pedophile.
Ive been an overachiever type - got a good job and am fairly well off financially. Never knew my father and pretty much never was able to relate to my peers. Mother was physically abusive, as well as sexually. Uncle played father role until he was jailed for violating his own kids. Mom has said to this day, "You always wanted me to". Didnt know 5 year olds were into that with their moms.
I have issues with sexual relations with anybody. I'm afraid the people around me know this but I dont know what their intentions are.
I hope to get into some group counseling, hopefully close to where I live in Philadelphia.
Open to recomendations and referrals.
Hope to get the courage to heal. I got a lot to offer in life, I think. We'll see how I do.
Thanks
This is my first shot at truly acknowledging the scars, if thats what you call them. I tried to do this about 5 years ago, but was too immature. Apparently, was made of stainless steel back then. Going to be 30 in 2005, and I hear this is a good time to start.
Mike Lew's book, Victims No Longer, was the catharsis. You know the story, it was like reading your own biography in a way.
My concern is for those around me. My coworkers, some of whom are medically trained, seem to 'know whats up'. The trouble with this is, I am not sure if this feeling of them 'knowing whats up' is a manifestation of my needs and they may not really know whats up.
Has anyone else had this happen?
What about attachments? I'm getting these upsetting feelings when people I know leave. They move, or get another job. People that are not neccessarily friends but are people that seemed to care or knew about this disorder, and you wanted to be friends - but cant bring yourself to open up? I'm also lonely - resisting others has become a way of life for me. I'm good at acting like nothings wrong. But, not adjusting too well alone.
I hope to get some insights. Dont worry about my sensitivities. I can handle, whatever.
I dont know what it means with 'triggers' in posts, but I may be triggering when I explain, real briefly, what the issue is now: (can someone explain what it means with triggers as it relates to posting?):
I was molested by my mother, and my uncle until I was about 10 years old. Since then, ive had trouble with relationships and trust. Mom has emotional problems and has been on welfare her whole life. Uncle is dead but was a pedophile.
Ive been an overachiever type - got a good job and am fairly well off financially. Never knew my father and pretty much never was able to relate to my peers. Mother was physically abusive, as well as sexually. Uncle played father role until he was jailed for violating his own kids. Mom has said to this day, "You always wanted me to". Didnt know 5 year olds were into that with their moms.
I have issues with sexual relations with anybody. I'm afraid the people around me know this but I dont know what their intentions are.
I hope to get into some group counseling, hopefully close to where I live in Philadelphia.
Open to recomendations and referrals.
Hope to get the courage to heal. I got a lot to offer in life, I think. We'll see how I do.
Thanks
