Hello from a first timer...

[PaulyMac]

Hi. I must confess I'm a little nervous about this. I'm in therapy via the TalkSpace app and while it's a great service I think talking to others about what I've experienced will ultimately be a good thing. (Wow, can I write a run-on sentence or what?) I don't know how many members here have watched the documentary "Call Me Lucky" on Netflix. It's the story of an abuse survivor Barry Crimmins. And while it can be triggering, it's ultimately an inspiring story. I am lucky enough to be friends with him on Twitter and he told me to tell the MaleSurvivor forums that he sent me. He's a genuinely lovely soul and I'm flattered to know him.

About me...I'm an elementary school librarian aide in California. It's a wonderful job because being with all those young innocent children helps keep the guilt I feel about the abuse in perspective. They remind me of myself when I was their age and they're so sweet and kind.

Um....I'm not quite sure what else to write. I'd be willing to answer questions if I feel comfortable and safe.

Speaking of safe, I have a mantra I came up with during my therapy sessions. Safe and loved. #S&L And it's something I wish for all of you. Thank you for reading my ramblings.

 

[Ceremony]

I'm grateful for your introduction. I have not heard of that movie before. My circle is rather small, considering how I attempt to break out of it. I'm vague, cryptic to evoke exasperation in others. That's my warning, more a hope to be connected than to bemuse.

Ha, run on sentences... being succinct is a path to be genuine and serious, my puerile side spits a quick oath and grabs for music of my youth.

Instead of rambling to bore you, my wish is, look beyond maladapted brutish silliness, spent at an inauspicious moment as this.

If I could blunt the oft run of my thoughts, let them coalesce to a cogent string...

Welcome, please excuse how distracted I am at this moment, how embarrassing.

I hope you'll feel safe, feel endeared to this place. Brothers who know pain, know each other. Who welcome weary, punished minds. Here is a place of affirmation, validating perceptions and encouraging therapy. Here, being accepted, where you ate, who you are...
Ok, now I'm crying
Welcome PaulyMac

 

[Ceremony]

Googling "talkspace" it seems UK based, can't be sure? Seems pretty cool?

1/18/17: The website "talkspace" has a pay service for therapy online.


Not sure if the Forbes article in 2015 has changed anything? Seems to be not about group, but texting to a therapist? A disclaimer that needs clarifying. Yup, question whether a paid service like that gives what it says? Might work for some? If the disclaimer when joining is still active, the platform isn't stating the therapy, = something vague?



This MS platform, or it's just my phone; I can't join chat here. Talkspace states they've an app. I won't look further, I don't have any money.

 

[Duckie]

deleted

 

[woodenshoes]

Paulymac

Welcome to MS. There are resources here. Just putting it out there helps the secret loose its strength over us. I wish you strength and support on your journey to healing from the hurt.

Ws

 

[WG]

Paulymac - Welcome, and as we say here, we're also sorry you find it necessary to be here. However, we understand why you're here - you're just like us. A survivor. There are any number of brothers who will walk this road with you - so come take a walk. We can stop for coffee along the way and you can tell us about your life thus far - when you feel you're comfortable enough to do so - and we'll do the same. We're an Equal Opportunity Welcome-er here.

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi PaulyMac - WELCOME

I hope you do feel comfortable and safe here. Or at least ultimately, because it is a safe place. I look forward to your insights and thoughts, as we continue on the healing journey.

 

[Zappafan]

Hi PaulyMac, new here myself and have found this to be a warm and welcoming place.

 

[Tom E.]

Welcome PaulyMac,
This place is wonderful, to share pain as well as experience strength & hope. We can all identify with the feelings
expressed by recovering survivors, peace to you..
Tom E

 

[Sterling]

You sound like a nice guy .
Welcome to MS.

James

 

[victor-victim]

dear PaulyMac,

congratulations on overcoming your reluctance!

your courage will be rewarded. this forum has given me much support throughout the past decade plus.

welcome

 

[motmcd]

Welcome, PaulyMac, to this wonderful place. It's good to have you here inspiring us.

Cheers,
Tom

 

[KMCINVA]

PaulyMac

You are right you need to feel safe. Without a sense of safety we have fears how others will react. I am glad you find relief in being around the young innocent children. For so long I could not remember when I was innocent. At around 10 yrs of age my innocence was robbed and it defined me, created physical and emotional issues. But with healing I am remembering the life prior to the abuse when I was carefree and full of hope. It is a wonderful thing. I wish no child to loss their innocence through any form of abuse, abandonment, bullying or anything else that will rob them of their dreams and future.

I am sorry it took me so long to welcome you--been caught up in working on my trauma. I found your mantra something I will borrow because I know with some people I am safe and feel love and now I just have to apply it to how I see myself. Thank you

Kevin

 

[motmcd]

Welcome, Pauly!