Hello and a question about learning to stop dissociating

[testingWaters]

Hello All,

It is a tough day for me (exterior circumstances that are very stressful but its rainy too and I am tired, stressed, lonely and on deadline) so I thought I'd say hello to some other people dealing with similar stuff.

We're all different, but for me, dissociating is like second nature. I like staying present, even when it is hard, and I feel much more grounded and able to connect with the people around me, but sometimes I really still feel like a kid who just cannot relax. Usually in time, I come to and realize I need to take some specific, healthy actions to feel better, but I still find it really hard.

Is there anyone else out there who got used to living in a very tense, dissociated state for so long that just being present feels really refreshing but really, really hard?

Peace and Love

 

[phoster]

though i have disasociated at times, i havent been one that stays like that. i guess i am lucky in that much. anyway, i am sure others here do deal with what you are, and will have more useful advice. i mainly wanted to offer my understanding and say hello back. i hope you find a way to deal with it.

 

[reality2k4]

Dissociation is a product of trauma that was not treated, I suffer from it, but guess I can live with it.

Stress, paricularly at work can worsen dissociation, and it can be quite disabling at times.
I feel held back, with no confidence sometimes.

I tend to find jobs that dont pay, even though I have an intelligent mind that should be able to do a lot more, and it stops me working overtime etc., because I just felt drained.

I cannot win, because being out of work right now, is challenging also, because of the boredom, and tendency to dissociate through that.

I had to have serious control on my mind as a kid, and now its back to haunt me, and if I want to relax I cant do it, and have serious short term memory problems.

Hope it helps, but you dont state your age,

ste

 

[thetraveller]

hey testingWaters

I have come to realise after a lot of therapy that I have spent a lot of time in a dissociated state, but like you I am learning to live in the present.

I guess when you have been used to dissociating it just feels comftable to slip back into the zone when things get tough.

I find that concentrating on my physical self brings me back into my body. I wiggle my toes and really concentrate on how it feels. I touch things and think about how they feel. This helps me to stay grounded and get back into my body.

I do like being in the present as it feels good to be in touch with the world and not just numbed out. It does take a lot of effort and I find it really hard to stay in the here and now. The times when i do feel present make it worth the effort though.

I guess we have to just keep on working at it until it becomes second nature to not dissociate. Reverse the process. It will take time and it is going to be hard work but i feel the rewards will be well worth it.

Be patient with yourself and I really believe it will get easier for you.

Take care

Craig

 

[bc22]

I think disassociation is definately something I have to fight. I find myself zoning out at different times also. Now that I am aware that it is a common side-effect for sexual abuse survivors, I am more in touch with it and I am actually catching myself start to zone before it really happens. It is easier to conquer when you realize that you aren't different because of it. Your body tried to protect you and now it is on auto pilot. Knowing and admitting is half the battle. Being aware you do it and deciding to fight it will do wonders for you. Good luck and keep the faith!!!

 

[markgreyblue]

this is my life - everyday.

 

[Leosha]

I disocciate to point of having 'others'. So, usually, I am not even aware of that I disocciate until I get back to 'myself', and have lost track of time and situations. To be myself, it is such something of feeling more stable that I like 'cling' to myself when I am, in hopes to stay that way for a while.

Leosha