Welcome to MS. IMHO the greatest gift this site has to offer is the message that you are not alone. I hope you will continue to contribute to the conversation as you become more comfortable. Every story is different but they are all the same. Some survivors have explicit memories, some only fuzzy recollections, but what is clear to every survivor is the impact it has had on their life. Shame, fear, guilt, self-contempt, hiiding,, and too many other emotions to list. Just knowing that others deal successfully with these helps ease the pain and gives hope.