Healthy Boundaries with women.

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Hi all,

I've been plagued with a tendency to open myself to women who are deeply hurt by and angry at heterosexual men. It has set me up to be threatened with a failure of their support as was the case with my mother. She had a tendency to self destruct emotionally which would have felt life threatening to me in my infancy. I ended up working very hard emotionally to keep her happy and prevent her from dying of despair (hence abandoning me). More recently I've exposed myself to the wrath of a deeply hurt and very angry woman who expressed her anger much more openly online. Her rage was so blind, irrational, and misdirected that it frightened me to the core of my being.

Recently, I've been able to express my anger at my mother's current lack of interest in her own emotional health and it's potentially lethal effect on her physical health. It's important to me because I still rely on her for financial support a great deal. I'm working hard to be less dependent on her financial support. I also got very angry with her idea that having children in order to support the emotional needs of adults is a good idea. I expressed to her that that is basically the definition of child abuse. I've also been able to express my feelings of lack of safety to the woman who expressed her rage towards men at me online. I asked her to not connect with me in any way shape or form. It feels good. I don't have the confidence that she is open to hearing about or supporting my healing of the hurts I've endured at the hands of my mother (sexual abuse and early childhood neglect). She clearly showed me that she's capable of dumping her anger at men who've hurt her in the past at me.

Just thought I'd post a progress report.

Sincerely,

Garth
 
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