Healing

[standingstrong]

Hey Guys!

Hope this message finds you all well! So, its been awhile since I have been on the forums. Since November 2015, I have been going through a lot and done a lot. I saw the movie Spotlight, and it taught me that the Boston church leverages shame that should be theirs against me. I was part of the settlement in 2003, part of this settlement required going to the RCAB to get therapy covered. To say the process has been easy, would be a joke. Even with the settlement, I had no clue what happened to me, and for 6 years of the worst, I received very little. So, I took up the fight on letting it be known. I was interviewed by the news etc, filed a lawsuit, and learned the lawyer network is no better then the church.

Yet, durning this process I have learned I am a rather stand up guy, who is smart and has the skill set to do anything. Yet, there is a but! I can't seem to get pass the believing it, my PTSD becomes present, and it is worse then the actual abuse. Which shocks me, why can't I believe such a gift of being positive too myself. I have done talk therapy, I have done Neurofeedback. I am totally lost on what to try now.

Because this not living, to say my world has been turned upside down I don't think wouldn't cover it enough. The so could friendships, and family comments have been horrible.

I am thankful, that I am positive with others, and would not want to be at any other place in this thriving mode. Yet, Google searches are over whelming, and I don't think they hit on this subject at all.

So wonder what others have tried in moving forward, and have found good results for themselves? Especially, if anyone has been in the same position,

Thanks!

 

[Sterling]

Hey standingstrong , I don't do much other therapy; but
Deep-Feeling or Primal Therapy.
I used to be so out of my body , I had to be coached to
describe what I was feeling , such as ; anger , fear
loneliness.
Once I got a hold of this I had to allow myself to feel
this feeling as much I can tolerate and then distract
myself.
I have tried cognitive , it was no help to me at all.
I don't know if you live near large urban centers...
But you can always just do a little research on Primal
Therapy and ask if it would be something you would
like to try.
I get how looking and searching can be overwhelming;
especially when you deserve to love yourself and not
be disturbed of the past.
If this helps great. If it didn't well...
perhaps do loving things for yourself;
activities, hobbies , socializing, journaling.
As I am sure you are doing some of these already!
So God bless and if you need anything else
don't hesitate to ask.

James

 

[ossolot]

Hello Standing Strong and James,

I found both posts very helpful. Thank you for your bravery in sharing.

I am having trouble finding suitable therapy too. There was always a bad thing that happened to me that was in the back of my mind but I only noticed the toll the trauma took lately. I been depressed a lot this year and medicated but its still a wild mental ride and I wish I could just work more and keep a partner and have more people to love.

Any advice you folks have? I will look into the approaches you both mentioned. Thanks so much.