Having a hard time the last two days...

Having a hard time the last two days...
L

LupinIII

Registrant
...since yesterday I have been feeling really depressed. Somehow I got dressed and came to work but since I am not happy in a boiler room sales environment anyway, everything seems worse. I contacted an agency to get a T last week and they never got back to me, even after i followed-up twice.

The world just seems darker today..I don't want to be selling advertising, I want to be healing...and honestly..I want my damn life back...I want my childhood back to but that isn't going to happen is it? I also kind of want to be in bed...luckily I got to spend some time plaiyng with my kids yesterday.

Right now this is the only place that really understands what I am saying so i felt the need to express this. My wife has been very supportive and loving but has difficulty finding the words to say. I can understand that, but it can be frustrating for both of us. I have reached a stage in life where frendships from my twenties have grown apart and I really don't have any new ones. I am thankful for my Alanon mtg on Wed. but it is only Monday.

Anyway....feeling down...wanted to write...
 
Lupin - I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough couple of days. I was just in the same place three days ago. Then, out of nowhere (or so it seems) the weekend was good and has extended into Monday. I know it may not last, but I'll take what I can while I can. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is hope. There are ups but probably more downs as we work through this mess.

It is sad and unacceptable that the agency you've contacted has not responded. Maybe it's time to try another agency? You local rape crisis center may offer services to men who have been abused. Mine does, it's free and they haven't even asked me my last name. I feel very safe there. See if you can find one in your area. When I first called they put me on a waiting list. No matter where you find help, you may be put on one too. So, difficult as it may seem, take the bull by the horns. I'd like to recommend two books. Victims No Longer by Mike Lew and Allies in Healing the author's name escapes me at the moment. The first one is for you, to help you recognize yourself, your behaviors, your feelings, your experience, etc. The second can also be for you but is aimed at our partners and their experiences. I think you'll find them in the Self Help section and, unfortunately, that's where you need to be until you get a response from those out there who are supposed to be helping you.
There is hope. The dark fog will lift. Good days are around the corner, hang in there until you find one. In the meantime, go home early today, make the kids laugh, let them make you laugh and get a good night's rest. I'll be thinking of you.
 
Hey there... I'm sorry things are down for you right now. Advertising is an especially depressing business sometimes. I can't say that I feel very good about being in it, especially when I am dealing with painful stuff. Makes the frantic pace seem all the more frustrating and pointless.

Keep posting here and come into chat if you can. Just keep talking this stuff out if you can. There is a lot of sadness and anger in your post about your childhood. I think many of have that here... this feeling that we never get to have what we lost back. But, at least if you come here and talk about it, you know that we understand it and we can share the pain with you.

PM me if you need to.

-Sean
 
it has been a while since i have felt as down as you sound, but i have been there. i am sorry you havent had better luck finding help. for me, i found a therapist on this site, and fortunately he was on my provider list for my hmo, not that that helps you all that much. at least this site might give you a name of someone close that has experience in our issues.

I havent read the other, but Victims no Longer is certainly a must read for any survivor. by the end i had a clearer picture of things, and i too recommend it. i have also read Abused Boys by mic hunter, and highly recommend it as well.

i hope you find someone who can work with you. it is very important, i feel. take care of yourself in the meantime, and keep talking. it makes all the difference in the world.
 
LupinIII,

At my SIA meeting yesterday we went through the reading for the slogan "This too shall pass." The problem with the crappy times is not so much the crappiness, but the feeling that it will always be crappy.

It won't. Things will be better, and you will feel better.

I'll second the book recommendations, for Mike Lew's and Mic Hunter's books. I have both and still go back to them. "Victims No Longer" has a new edition coming out sometime, but I wouldn't wait for the new edition if it's not in the store now. Grab whatever edition they have. I believe the "Allies in Healing" is from Laura Davis. That one I don't have.

Keep posting.

Joe
 
I feel for you, man...

My only and best suggestion is to try not to overreact to the pain. Try to keep your head down and push ahead,or at least don't be pushed back, if that makes sense? Sometimes just keeping on is its own reward.

Best of luck,
Peace,
James
 
...thank oyu for all the support...part of the problem is i feel guilty because my job at this point is hurting me and maybe as soon as this paycheck latest the next, i need to change or my wife needs to work...it just is too much..too much manipulation...too much pressure..and a financial instability that is unheard of..plus the place is INSANE...however i feelr eally guilty about this, like im letting my family down and im a loser...but if i do not change i will be headed for a nervous breakdown...it's not working that i am against, i am a hard worker its just this type of job..not for me and once again it is causing me pain right now...im still down but feel a bit better..guilty but a bit better..thanks again...
 
Lupin,

Bro, I hear you. I've been up-and-down for a LOOOOOOOOONNGG time, and it can be very hard. As long as you keep talking and fightinf through it, you'll be okay.

It's never easy, is it? All the crap we have to deal with in the past PLUS life now? It isn't fair, brother. It sucks. It will always suck. But you're a strong man with a great family and support system. It'll see you through.

I wish I had that. Now, don't get me wrong, I have a great family and a wonderful group of friends, but no significant other, no kids, nothing of my own. Yeah, it doesn't allow you much (any? :p ) downtime, but they remind you that there is a future and it can be as bright as YOU want it to be.

So, even when you have no energy, and you really can't talk, enjoy them. Love your wife and kids, take every opportunity to enjoy them, because they are YOUR link to the future, just as you're THEIR link to all that's possible.

Just a thought, Lupin. Take it for what its worth.

Peace and love, bro. You've gotten through another day! :D

Scot
 
Lupin,

Feeling down is really a bummer. I've been there and have hit rock bottom, twice. This is something you can lick before it licks you. Keep the faith that it will get better. Keep getting dress, shaved, showered, but not necessarily in that order. Wear a smile, the brain will eventually pick up on it. Give yourself some well deserved compliments.

Hang in there, the sun comes out tomorrow,
Bill
 
I am sorry that you were feeling down in this. I can understand that, sometime it is all we can do to pull our body out of bed, to go to work, it seems something impossible we are being asked. But I have noticed that for me, it does help some as distraction to me, sometime (not always). I am sure that is not true to everyone.

To write things, to get them here, I think it is helpful, because it is a way to share it, and to share it with others who do understand us some more. That does not mean we can not make other friends, but yes, it is true they maybe would not understand us so well.

I hope that you are feeling better as I write this, as I am delayed in responding here. Please do your best to remain well.

Leosha
 
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