Hard to be angry with my abuser
I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who finds themselves in this position. Despite the fact my abuser was a sadist I find it hard to get angry at her.
Is this because of her grooming? Is it because I was so desperate for attention at the time willing to hang on to anything?
All I feel is a sense of betrayal from her. She groomed me she got me attracted to her. And Then she shows her real colors.
I have every right to be angry, in fact that would be normal. She humiliated me, berated me and physically abuse me. My only question is why?
On a logical level I realize it was just grooming she really didn't care for me maybe only for a soul that she could hurt. A thing with emotions that she could manipulate and cause anguish.
Thing is you only feel betrayal from people you trust and love. It's been over 40 years and some places on my body still have scars. Yet my own question is why.
Like it's something I did wrong but I know it's not true, I know it's not logical. But that's the thing with emotions it's all about how you feel. Logic sometimes has very little to do with it.
Is this because of her grooming? Is it because I was so desperate for attention at the time willing to hang on to anything?
All I feel is a sense of betrayal from her. She groomed me she got me attracted to her. And Then she shows her real colors.
I have every right to be angry, in fact that would be normal. She humiliated me, berated me and physically abuse me. My only question is why?
On a logical level I realize it was just grooming she really didn't care for me maybe only for a soul that she could hurt. A thing with emotions that she could manipulate and cause anguish.
Thing is you only feel betrayal from people you trust and love. It's been over 40 years and some places on my body still have scars. Yet my own question is why.
Like it's something I did wrong but I know it's not true, I know it's not logical. But that's the thing with emotions it's all about how you feel. Logic sometimes has very little to do with it.