Hard day

[Dude]

I guess I just need to vent. I know I haven't been on in a while but I have been trying to keep busy so that I don't have time to deal with anything and then all of the sudden today I just got sad. I think it is sooo funny that I can act and be normal on the outside but as soon as I find out that someone I know is in the same boat I am in after I help, I just break down and cry. Why is it that I think I have gotten so far yet come to realize that I haven't moved at all. I don't know. Anyway, I pray everyone is doing good and I will try to be one more often. -Donnie

 

[manipulated]

For myself I have difficulty allowing myself to "feel" for myself; but then I am overwhelmed with the feelings of sadness, guilt and betrayal when I talk with other survivors. I don't think it means I haven't moved from when/where I started this healing journey but yes it sure does mean I have a lot farther to go...As always here on MS YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 

[Dude]

Thank you manipulated. I never really thought about it that way. I always thought that I had delt with it but you are right. I'm just depressing my feeling and they are coming out when I hear others talk about it. I just feel like I'm trapped it a rat maze. As soon as I think I found the end, I realize that I am back at the beginning. I know I can get thru it and all, but I just wish it would finally be over. I still haven't gotten over Jake yet and that's been 10 years ago . Oh well, one day at a time. Thank you again, it helped

 

[Nothing Man]

Hi Donnie.

I think that we survivors have a lot of empathy for others who have endured the same horrors we have. It is an admirable quality but it can also paralyze us when we realize how many people actually have been traumatized. I am dealing with my teenage daughter's trauma, she was raped 18 months ago, and it breaks my heart more than I can say.

Manipulated is right, however. We are not alone and there is a certain amount of comfort knowing that. I am sorry you are in a sad place and hope you will bounce out of it soon. Take care of yourself.

 

[manipulated]

I think that we survivors have a lot of empathy for others who have endured the same horrors we have. It is an admirable quality but it can also paralyze us...Take care of yourself.

You too NM. You AND your daughter. as Donnie said: "One day at a time" only some days it has to be one hour or one minute at a time and I have to remind myself to breathe...and I AM worthy of love, healing, compassion and self care.

 

[Dude]

Thank you NM and manipulated. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I know how hard it is to help others and have no clue what it would be like if anything happened to my kids. I'm doing better today. I am still drained but better. Thank you both again. -Donnie

 

[KL]

Donnie,

Can relate to feeling as if having it together and then seemingly don't. At the exact time you posted last night I had a complete crying meltdown with a friend...

I think we're all conflicted, hurt...damaged..."sometimes it just needs to come out," my friend told me last night.

The road is long...