Happiness!!!!
Happiness!!!!
- Thread starterMarc
- Start date
James_dup1
Registrant
Marc,
I understand your anger. I dont like t's, (please dont take anything personly to the one's that post here, I've never seen you in an office). They do seem like all they care about is there money, I do understand that they have there bills to pay. The last one I saw was through the YWCA and didnt cost me anything. Let me tell you she was the best one I've ever had. And she was the only one I have ever started working on trusting. My frist experence with one was at a school, she told my parents I was the bigest liar she has ever seen. Even though I everything I was telling her was the God's honest truth. You have no idea how many times that was used against me. Like the time I tried to kill myself and I heard my step father telling the doctor before he came into talk to me that this t said I was a hibital liar. Just know this Marc.....there are good and bad in everything, if your having problems with this one find a new one. I dont think you should stop seeing one, they have there place to help us.
((((((((((hugs)))))))) Good luck
James
I understand your anger. I dont like t's, (please dont take anything personly to the one's that post here, I've never seen you in an office). They do seem like all they care about is there money, I do understand that they have there bills to pay. The last one I saw was through the YWCA and didnt cost me anything. Let me tell you she was the best one I've ever had. And she was the only one I have ever started working on trusting. My frist experence with one was at a school, she told my parents I was the bigest liar she has ever seen. Even though I everything I was telling her was the God's honest truth. You have no idea how many times that was used against me. Like the time I tried to kill myself and I heard my step father telling the doctor before he came into talk to me that this t said I was a hibital liar. Just know this Marc.....there are good and bad in everything, if your having problems with this one find a new one. I dont think you should stop seeing one, they have there place to help us.
((((((((((hugs)))))))) Good luck
James
MrDon
Registrant
I'm not sure if I could sit here and say, go back or find another one. Just not sure I would be answering that correctly.
The thing I do know is that I have had a couple of good therapists over the year. In fact a former therapist let me have some phone sessions with her after I moved away. I did pay for them but it helped me in many ways. Then when my mom died, she was there for me and never charged me for that 1.5 hour call. I realize it is how she makes her income as well, but it truly shows that she cared about me as a person. Of course, I've had one therapist that was pitiful and he got turned in. One therapist was ok, but I made very little progress with him. The one I currently have is pretty good and helps me quite a bit.
I don't know, there is good with the bad.. and somehow I guess they do have to earn a living.
Of course if you canceled within the appropiate time, than you shouldn't have to pay.
Not sure if I'm helping you at all, but just some thoughts I had.
Don
The thing I do know is that I have had a couple of good therapists over the year. In fact a former therapist let me have some phone sessions with her after I moved away. I did pay for them but it helped me in many ways. Then when my mom died, she was there for me and never charged me for that 1.5 hour call. I realize it is how she makes her income as well, but it truly shows that she cared about me as a person. Of course, I've had one therapist that was pitiful and he got turned in. One therapist was ok, but I made very little progress with him. The one I currently have is pretty good and helps me quite a bit.
I don't know, there is good with the bad.. and somehow I guess they do have to earn a living.
Of course if you canceled within the appropiate time, than you shouldn't have to pay.
Not sure if I'm helping you at all, but just some thoughts I had.
Don
This is the aggravating thing about health care and "helping professions" in general. Its a situation where someone is supposed to be trying to help someone, caring about them as a person. Yet they have to make a living and to some extent
I guess have to be impersonal in the sense that it is a business.
This can be hard on and uncomfortable for both the
person seeking help and also the caregiver. But I don't know how else things could be done besides some kind of bartering system or something.
What could be done is (at least in the USA tho probably elsewhere too in different ways) a major overhaul in the health care system setup. Something that would make the system less profit-driven while making sure health care givers are adequately compensated for their services.
How? Hey I can't think of everything...
Victor
I guess have to be impersonal in the sense that it is a business.
This can be hard on and uncomfortable for both the
person seeking help and also the caregiver. But I don't know how else things could be done besides some kind of bartering system or something.
What could be done is (at least in the USA tho probably elsewhere too in different ways) a major overhaul in the health care system setup. Something that would make the system less profit-driven while making sure health care givers are adequately compensated for their services.
How? Hey I can't think of everything...
Victor
Marc, I'm not able to relate to your situation. I have been fortunate to have a very good T, who I have been seeing for a number of years. The therapy has been very good for me. This is the only T I have ever seen. I feel she is more concerned about me and my recovery, and has helped me through some very difficult times. Money has never been an issue, in fact there are times she hasn't charged me, including sessions I have forgotten to attend. One thing I have noticed over time is that the times I have been angry with her or thought about stopping therapy were also times when we were working on some particularly painful issues, or I was on the verge of a breakthrough. I understand this now to be a reaction to things I am not comfortable facing. However I must face these things and learn how to deal, if my recovery is to continue. My T is also good at handling my anger, and does not take it personnally, as it really is not about her, but about the things I am working on. I am not suggesting that you continue with this T, or quit. Ther are good T's out there, the queston is how where to find them. Since we are consumers, it can be helpful to interview potential T's to judge for ourselves if there is a good fit or not. This, of course is my experience. "Take what you like and leave the rest". Wishing you the best, Marc
Steve
Steve
Hey, Marc, no words of wisdom here, I just heard that howl of yours.
My first therapists were PH.d's and helped me move from my abuse.
My second set--I always viewed them as my, "trying them out," for compatability.
They helped me find the doc that I had been "looking" for. He gave me the confidence and help to finish school, buy a home and have our second child.
What the Hell am I doing here, you may ask?
So much of my abuse came from my father with his constant beration of most anything that I tried to accomplish.
Now, I come crashing into my CSA as I want to mentor, and maybe even foster, kids who've been left behind without people in their lives who care.
I've got to know about my motives and that I'm "healthy" enough not to further screw up lives that have already had enough screwing with.
From the counseling that my wife and I have sought, I've gotten to know about the Licensed Clinical Social Workers who are skilled in Direct Human Services--therapy. Ken Singer, here, has such a degree--LCSW.
These folks seem to have a more practical approach than, say, Ph.d psychologists who can spend a lot of time in the assessment and diagnosis of an individual.
I apologize to anyone who really knows the difference between these therapists, but what I'm saying is that this will probably be the route that I will follow.
I don't know if this is any help for you but the main reason for writing is to offer you some encouragement.
There is another possibility; that you know more than anyone that you've seen thus far and they don't really offer you anything.
The only other suggestion--and, I know, by this time, that you're just sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for this next pearl of wisdom--that I have, is for you to ask yourself what it is that you'd like to get out of therapy.
You know, is it anxiety or depression, thoughts of suicide, or murder, or debilitating fantasies?
Maybe, for the time being, you don't have any major issues and nothing is driving you toward a therapist. Maybe it's your turn to kick back and enjoy yourself a little--after all, therapy can be expensive.
I think that I'm rambling but I would like to hear that you've found someone that you really like. Can any of the admin folks here help you with any referral?
OK, I'll stop, now,
David
My first therapists were PH.d's and helped me move from my abuse.
My second set--I always viewed them as my, "trying them out," for compatability.
They helped me find the doc that I had been "looking" for. He gave me the confidence and help to finish school, buy a home and have our second child.
What the Hell am I doing here, you may ask?
So much of my abuse came from my father with his constant beration of most anything that I tried to accomplish.
Now, I come crashing into my CSA as I want to mentor, and maybe even foster, kids who've been left behind without people in their lives who care.
I've got to know about my motives and that I'm "healthy" enough not to further screw up lives that have already had enough screwing with.
From the counseling that my wife and I have sought, I've gotten to know about the Licensed Clinical Social Workers who are skilled in Direct Human Services--therapy. Ken Singer, here, has such a degree--LCSW.
These folks seem to have a more practical approach than, say, Ph.d psychologists who can spend a lot of time in the assessment and diagnosis of an individual.
I apologize to anyone who really knows the difference between these therapists, but what I'm saying is that this will probably be the route that I will follow.
I don't know if this is any help for you but the main reason for writing is to offer you some encouragement.
There is another possibility; that you know more than anyone that you've seen thus far and they don't really offer you anything.
The only other suggestion--and, I know, by this time, that you're just sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for this next pearl of wisdom--that I have, is for you to ask yourself what it is that you'd like to get out of therapy.
You know, is it anxiety or depression, thoughts of suicide, or murder, or debilitating fantasies?
Maybe, for the time being, you don't have any major issues and nothing is driving you toward a therapist. Maybe it's your turn to kick back and enjoy yourself a little--after all, therapy can be expensive.
I think that I'm rambling but I would like to hear that you've found someone that you really like. Can any of the admin folks here help you with any referral?
OK, I'll stop, now,
David
Hi David:
thank you for the compliment. As noted in the article, "A Consumer's Guide to Therapist shopping", it's not so much the degree (or sometimes even the formal training) a therapist has. It's more about the person's skills and ability to sensitively help.
Some of the other comments here are absolutely correct. When someone gets hit on a sensitive nerve, it might just be an important issue that has been previously avoided. Or, it could be that the therapist is a dolt. Problem is that it isn't always easy to figure out what the raw nerve is at the time.
Don't be afraid of challenging the therapist's style, technique or substance. That doesn't mean you should make therapy a battle, but if something doesn't sit right with you, ask what or why s/he is doing or saying that.
Treatment should be a partnership in healing, not a case of "I'm doing this to you for your own good."
Ken
thank you for the compliment. As noted in the article, "A Consumer's Guide to Therapist shopping", it's not so much the degree (or sometimes even the formal training) a therapist has. It's more about the person's skills and ability to sensitively help.
Some of the other comments here are absolutely correct. When someone gets hit on a sensitive nerve, it might just be an important issue that has been previously avoided. Or, it could be that the therapist is a dolt. Problem is that it isn't always easy to figure out what the raw nerve is at the time.
Don't be afraid of challenging the therapist's style, technique or substance. That doesn't mean you should make therapy a battle, but if something doesn't sit right with you, ask what or why s/he is doing or saying that.
Treatment should be a partnership in healing, not a case of "I'm doing this to you for your own good."
Ken