happened all of a sudden, not sure how i feel
IrishKipley
Registrant
thanks to everyone who has given me advice in regards to my earlier post. i've been thinking of little else since i posted and today i sat down with samantha ready to tell her some of the things that i felt she needed and deserved to know.
i had already told her about the abuse and some of how it has affected me, that was done almost six months ago i guess. she handled it a lot better than i was expecting, but then again, she is wonderful ~
today i didn't really have set in my mind what i was going to say, only that i needed to say something, anything that would ease my mind a little. i told her that when i left my father i lived with some men and had done things that i wasnt' proud of, that made me sick to think about them now. i didn't really go into great detail with this, but i could tell that she understood i meant that sex was involved. she didn't say much, but she cried and held my hand. she knew it was hard for me to tell her.
i know she was shaken up by things that i told her, but she let me know that she wasn't going to hold it against me. she even said something to the effect that i was still a kid when those things happened and i shouldn't beat myself up. i fell apart when i heard those words, that was definately not what i was expecting to hear. she suggested that we go to couples concelling and i told her i thought that would be a good idea. at this point i'm willing to try anything to lose a little of the guilt and shame i've been feeling for so long. she said she needed time to think about all i had said and so she left earlier than usual....BUT....(and my heart soars when i say this). ....she still had her ring on and that makes me happy. how did i end up with such a great girl???? i feel like i don't even come close to deserving her. i know we have a lot of stuff to talk about and work out...but at least today was a start. i'm nervous about everything but i feel like i did the right thing
Kip
i had already told her about the abuse and some of how it has affected me, that was done almost six months ago i guess. she handled it a lot better than i was expecting, but then again, she is wonderful ~
today i didn't really have set in my mind what i was going to say, only that i needed to say something, anything that would ease my mind a little. i told her that when i left my father i lived with some men and had done things that i wasnt' proud of, that made me sick to think about them now. i didn't really go into great detail with this, but i could tell that she understood i meant that sex was involved. she didn't say much, but she cried and held my hand. she knew it was hard for me to tell her.
i know she was shaken up by things that i told her, but she let me know that she wasn't going to hold it against me. she even said something to the effect that i was still a kid when those things happened and i shouldn't beat myself up. i fell apart when i heard those words, that was definately not what i was expecting to hear. she suggested that we go to couples concelling and i told her i thought that would be a good idea. at this point i'm willing to try anything to lose a little of the guilt and shame i've been feeling for so long. she said she needed time to think about all i had said and so she left earlier than usual....BUT....(and my heart soars when i say this). ....she still had her ring on and that makes me happy. how did i end up with such a great girl???? i feel like i don't even come close to deserving her. i know we have a lot of stuff to talk about and work out...but at least today was a start. i'm nervous about everything but i feel like i did the right thing
Kip