happened all of a sudden, not sure how i feel

happened all of a sudden, not sure how i feel

IrishKipley

Registrant
thanks to everyone who has given me advice in regards to my earlier post. i've been thinking of little else since i posted and today i sat down with samantha ready to tell her some of the things that i felt she needed and deserved to know.

i had already told her about the abuse and some of how it has affected me, that was done almost six months ago i guess. she handled it a lot better than i was expecting, but then again, she is wonderful ~

today i didn't really have set in my mind what i was going to say, only that i needed to say something, anything that would ease my mind a little. i told her that when i left my father i lived with some men and had done things that i wasnt' proud of, that made me sick to think about them now. i didn't really go into great detail with this, but i could tell that she understood i meant that sex was involved. she didn't say much, but she cried and held my hand. she knew it was hard for me to tell her.

i know she was shaken up by things that i told her, but she let me know that she wasn't going to hold it against me. she even said something to the effect that i was still a kid when those things happened and i shouldn't beat myself up. i fell apart when i heard those words, that was definately not what i was expecting to hear. she suggested that we go to couples concelling and i told her i thought that would be a good idea. at this point i'm willing to try anything to lose a little of the guilt and shame i've been feeling for so long. she said she needed time to think about all i had said and so she left earlier than usual....BUT....(and my heart soars when i say this). ....she still had her ring on and that makes me happy. how did i end up with such a great girl???? i feel like i don't even come close to deserving her. i know we have a lot of stuff to talk about and work out...but at least today was a start. i'm nervous about everything but i feel like i did the right thing

Kip
 
i remember when i told my wife. for years i had imagined these women in my life, hearing how perverted and sick i was, and just walking out on me. strange, as i have told people, not one of them has called me names or walked out on me. even those that dont really get how something that happened so long ago could be affecting me now, are at least sympathetic.

i am glad you talked to her. you'll find names and dates arent important, but the truth is. hiding and leading a dual life is what made me unhappy in the first place, and for me, being open and tearing apart the walls i built around my self is really important.

to point to the future that can happen. since coming out, my wife and i have grown closer than ever. over time much more has come out, and she has continued to support me. i think that it was actually good for us, teaching us to communicate better and bringing us closer.

i salute you for a very brave and honorable thing you did...
Phos
 
Just had to log in to tell you this is great news. Hang in there! Proud of you both. And very happy for you. Peace.
 
Kip,

I am so very proud of you, your openness and your strength. You are totally amazing to me. How did you end up with such a girl? She saw the beauty and wonder of you. What goodness you are in awe of in her, you have the same. You are truly a wonderful match of people, and I wish you both luck.

Leosha
 
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