Had to visit childhood friend's house
Hauser
Registrant
I'm 37 now, I was born in 69' When I was 9 years old I was sexually abused by an older brother's friend, and that story has been shared already, I will give the link for the story if anyone would like to read it.
There was a time a relative innocence even after I was abused that I would like to share. I made a good friend with a boy named George, we were both exactly the same age pretty much. We were both 9 years old. We became friends JUST after I was repeatedly molested for an entire summer. You see, my problems for me did not start to occur until I became sexually aware and more mature at around age 12. So.......between that summer that I was abused and the advent of puberty, I was still pretty much normal.
Why did I even go there? I don't know. Yes I do, I was looking for memories, memories of a time that I was still innocent and not hating myself. I went to George's house, it was an older house on a lakeside lot that was old when I befriended George, and it's even older now. I know that his father is still alive, he was not home. I walked around the place. I started remembering things. Rooms, pictures, fixtures, mirrors, stairways, memories. We were boys. We played. It was so cool.
One night, back in 79', when I was almost 10, George had nighborhood friends over for a sleep over. We had 2 tents, and each of us had our own sleeping bags. But in the middle of the night, it started to rain, so we went inside the house to sleep. But there was only two spare beds. So I slept with Bill. Bill was 1 year younger than me. We got upstairs to sleep and we laid down and we just slept. Now, I was already well aware of what it was like to sleep with another male. But, with Bill, it was perfectly innocent because I had no sexual feelings yet. I was still a boy and I slept with another boy and nothing happened. I remember waking up in the middle of that night and seeing him and thinking that something was weird about what we were doing, but that was it.
Not too long after that, the sexual confusion and anger started in my life which led me to where I'm at today.
I don't know if I articulated this very well, but all I wanted to say was that even though I was already molested, I was still innocent, cuz I never tried to take advantage of someone else sexually and I'm proud of that.
There was a time a relative innocence even after I was abused that I would like to share. I made a good friend with a boy named George, we were both exactly the same age pretty much. We were both 9 years old. We became friends JUST after I was repeatedly molested for an entire summer. You see, my problems for me did not start to occur until I became sexually aware and more mature at around age 12. So.......between that summer that I was abused and the advent of puberty, I was still pretty much normal.
Why did I even go there? I don't know. Yes I do, I was looking for memories, memories of a time that I was still innocent and not hating myself. I went to George's house, it was an older house on a lakeside lot that was old when I befriended George, and it's even older now. I know that his father is still alive, he was not home. I walked around the place. I started remembering things. Rooms, pictures, fixtures, mirrors, stairways, memories. We were boys. We played. It was so cool.
One night, back in 79', when I was almost 10, George had nighborhood friends over for a sleep over. We had 2 tents, and each of us had our own sleeping bags. But in the middle of the night, it started to rain, so we went inside the house to sleep. But there was only two spare beds. So I slept with Bill. Bill was 1 year younger than me. We got upstairs to sleep and we laid down and we just slept. Now, I was already well aware of what it was like to sleep with another male. But, with Bill, it was perfectly innocent because I had no sexual feelings yet. I was still a boy and I slept with another boy and nothing happened. I remember waking up in the middle of that night and seeing him and thinking that something was weird about what we were doing, but that was it.
Not too long after that, the sexual confusion and anger started in my life which led me to where I'm at today.
I don't know if I articulated this very well, but all I wanted to say was that even though I was already molested, I was still innocent, cuz I never tried to take advantage of someone else sexually and I'm proud of that.
