grow up people
im a little sick of all the nitpicking thats been going around here. Yes it is a painfull reality that thier has been an impostor on the boards, but i think it is important that everyone realize that the hard cold reality is that there is, and probably has been since the begginging, perpetrators who will use this service, and that as fucked up as that may be, the truth is you can only be so safe. If we are going to heal it has to be in the real world. Part of healing is accepting responsibility for your own actions, trusting your own judgement, and learning to take risks when it comes to trusting people.
To those of you personally hurt, i am sorry. But we must all remember to respect the anounomous nature of the medium we are using to communicate and to establish healthy boundries with the people you meet here.
Next, i think that this forum has done nothing to anyone but try and help them. Arguing semantics over every little insignificant thing is really disrespectfull. The moderators are here to keep this board from turning into a flame war or a debate lounge, as well as let perpetrators and imposters know that someone IS watching. If the moderators need thier own section on the forums to coordinate thier efforts in private, then the more power to them. When i stopped hearing heartwrenching stories about men who were being raped everyday of thier lives since they were young boys up until adolecsence, and heard them replaced with debating how much more special a junior or senior member was and the distinction between how many little yellow stars they had by thier name, i knew we lost something.
This is about pain, joy, rage, trust, and love. When i came onto these boards i was moving out of my sexually and psychologically abusive mothers house for the first time, after having been unemployed and clinicly depressed since i was 16. I went to bed dreaming about beating my mothers boyfriend with the butt of a pellet gun until he was bleeding and couldnt get up anymore, and spent every waking moment thinking i was insane for remembering what my mother did to me.
This board was my only connection to anyone who had ever been abused, the only confirmation i got that i wasnt making the whole thing up, and one of the primary reasons i managed to move out of my house and sever contact with my mother.
I know the pressures of the outside world seem enormous sometimes, but the battle to control your life and become who you want to be begins and ends with how you deal with the abuse. Dont let it push you down, dont let it decide who are for you. When our pain becomes cliche and our feelings analyzed to death, our struggle loses its meaning. We have to make this mean something, we can not just sit idle and wait for our pain to kill us. Start digging inside, and try to connect with the pain and rage you feel.
The last thing i would like to say is that we should all understand just how sensitive newcomers are to this. If you are feeling vulnrable, be careful, and understand that you are extremely sensitive, and think before you interpate something said as harmfull. And to those of you who are in their company try to make a reasonable effort to be a little more delicate than usual. If we focus on coming together and working through this, we can avoid the melodrama and rally together to fight one of the most ancient, horrifying tradgedies perpetuated by the human race.
To those of you personally hurt, i am sorry. But we must all remember to respect the anounomous nature of the medium we are using to communicate and to establish healthy boundries with the people you meet here.
Next, i think that this forum has done nothing to anyone but try and help them. Arguing semantics over every little insignificant thing is really disrespectfull. The moderators are here to keep this board from turning into a flame war or a debate lounge, as well as let perpetrators and imposters know that someone IS watching. If the moderators need thier own section on the forums to coordinate thier efforts in private, then the more power to them. When i stopped hearing heartwrenching stories about men who were being raped everyday of thier lives since they were young boys up until adolecsence, and heard them replaced with debating how much more special a junior or senior member was and the distinction between how many little yellow stars they had by thier name, i knew we lost something.
This is about pain, joy, rage, trust, and love. When i came onto these boards i was moving out of my sexually and psychologically abusive mothers house for the first time, after having been unemployed and clinicly depressed since i was 16. I went to bed dreaming about beating my mothers boyfriend with the butt of a pellet gun until he was bleeding and couldnt get up anymore, and spent every waking moment thinking i was insane for remembering what my mother did to me.
This board was my only connection to anyone who had ever been abused, the only confirmation i got that i wasnt making the whole thing up, and one of the primary reasons i managed to move out of my house and sever contact with my mother.
I know the pressures of the outside world seem enormous sometimes, but the battle to control your life and become who you want to be begins and ends with how you deal with the abuse. Dont let it push you down, dont let it decide who are for you. When our pain becomes cliche and our feelings analyzed to death, our struggle loses its meaning. We have to make this mean something, we can not just sit idle and wait for our pain to kill us. Start digging inside, and try to connect with the pain and rage you feel.
The last thing i would like to say is that we should all understand just how sensitive newcomers are to this. If you are feeling vulnrable, be careful, and understand that you are extremely sensitive, and think before you interpate something said as harmfull. And to those of you who are in their company try to make a reasonable effort to be a little more delicate than usual. If we focus on coming together and working through this, we can avoid the melodrama and rally together to fight one of the most ancient, horrifying tradgedies perpetuated by the human race.
Nevertheless your words are right on and signal a warning I hope we'll heed.
My issues with my incestuous mother were largely resolved after I started on this site. Just for instance.