Group

Group
J

Jaysen

Registrant
I lost it at group last Friday, not sure what triggered me but this guy made a comment and something in my head just went SNAP, I went after the poor bastard and pummeled him pretty good before they could drag me off of him. I feel like shit about it. I have no idea where I was when I lost it, where my mind was I mean. I don't remember what was said and I don't remember even jumping the guy. I tried to figure out a way to get in touch with him over the weekend but couldn't. I don't have his number, don't know his address. I spoke to one of the counslers there and I told him I wanted to go back next Friday and apologize to the guy. Shit all I know about this guy is his name is Joe. I don't know where this came from. I never experienced anything like this before, I'm guessing because before I kept myself so fucking sedated with alochol and drugs there was just no fight in me and I was too numb to even pay real attention to what anyone was saying to me.
I'm not sure what to do about this,
need help with this.
Thanks!
Jay
 
Jay,

maybe you are not ready for group stuff yet.
It may be OK to apologize, but part of the whole thing is having restraint on your feelings and not take anger out on others.

I am pretty laid back in life, but I have been known to snap at anybody who takes the piss.
It takes ages to control the tendency to snap, but you must take control of it.

Maybe you need to go back to one-to-one,

ste
 
Well I've been doing one/one and group and the group has been going on for about, I dunno, a couple of months now anyway. Do you really think the group environment will solve the problem though? I mean if I'm going to snap it could be anywhere, anytime, not just at a group thing right? I've always been really laid back too which is why I'm not sure where this new emotion is coming from. It's like I grew a third arm all of a sudden. What the fuck... Last week I was talking about anger and how I didn't really feel all that angry anymore, I'm thinking maybe I never did! I'm sure it was there but hidden deep. Growing up I always just did as I was told, never questioned. With those guys, yeah sure I fought back at first but in the end I just did what I was told. After the abuse when it came to sex, again I just did as I was told, playing the sub, with guys anyway.
I don't know what to think about this.
And it's driving me crazy.
 
Jay,

I would not suggest anger management, but try to disperse these energies positively.
Find something you like to disperse it, like a hobby, the gym, riding a bike etc.

I know it can be real tough to not snap, but on doing so, you are losing self control.
Learn to control it, and turn the energy to positive things,

ste
 
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