Greetings!

[matthewgg37]

Hello,

I am a Male Survivor. I just turned 37 years old. This is a "coming out" for me. I am a sexual abuse male survivor, and I am also a survivor of physical, emotional, and mental abuse from other persons, through-out my life into adulthood.

I hope to share bits and pieces of my story as appropriate.
This is me. I want to share my story, so that others are able to resonate with me in their life as well.

My name is Matthew.

 

[batman72]

Welcome, Matthew! I'm sorry that you are here but glad that you've found the site as a resource.

You will find comfort and acceptance here. I'm anxious to hear your story.

Harry

 

[Esterio]

Hi There Matthew

Welcome To Male Survivor. Sorry for what you went thought to need a site like this. It is good, you have found a place were you will see you are not alone in this. No pressure to post your story. Do that when you are ready to. Again welcome

Esterio

 

[matthewgg37]

Thank you for the warm welcomes.

 

[chairdesklamp]

Hey, we're close in age and I went through a parade of abuse by most everyone in close proximity for 25 years. It sucks we have to be here, but you're very far from the only repeat abuse survivour here. You're not the only one, there are others like you.

 

[matthewgg37]

Thank you. I'm looking for a place to start writing. --- I like to write. --- and Type. It helps me. I like to help people too. I don't often put myself first, or forefront. I'm sure like a lot of us. For great reasons too.

I've been married for 19 years, and my wife wanted my "emotional honesty" so badly that I've "come out" to her about my history, and she's already started in with the society stigmas that I grew up with, over perceptions of others, based on my silence within, and my outer shell.

She's started calling me sick and disgusting.......

Where's the right forum topic discussion for how I handle this within myself as to not take my anger and rage of my molestation out on her?

 

[matthewgg37]

Married for 16 yrs... together 19yrs. to my first love. (which now, I may understand that my emotions at the time, didn't match the true feelings associated to an unmolested child....) .... so I am starting self - destructive, suppressive behaviors.......trying to seek emotional intimacy with my wife....

 

[i-m-Bri]

Matthew,

What great words “This is me”!
They are powerful and strong. I am so sorry there is so much pain behind them. It’s good to meet you.

Bri

 

[matthewgg37]

Thanks. I am riddled with pain. Unfortunately my internal pain, has started to cause me to disassociate and adaptively dissasociate when triggered, automatically. I'm only aware it's happening sometimes. So I can pull myself back to reality.

I was also heavily bullied in school, and my wife has a few of her own problems that need addressed with Therapy. She is really fueled by a lot of her own internal rage and anger....in a different way...from her child hood....

I'm so happy to hear and have the such warm welcomes.
It's good for me to know people are there, and others are either learning from my experience, or I am trying to learn how to struggle through my adult life choices, to understand why I have made the ones I have.

 

[Esterio]

Hi Matthew
You and I and all the others here are not alone in this. I am glad you found this place. We learn and heal by sharing our experiences. This place is none judgemental or that is whatI have found. Writing our stories for me is taking a long time. I am struggling with the worst times of my life. It will come I have told my T that it happened but not much details as it is to emotional for me.

Esterio

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi Matthewgg37 - WELCOME,

As others have said, I’m Sorry it’s necessary for you to seek such a place, but glad you’ve joined us as we continue on our healing journey. Reaching out and writing of your thoughts and insights will be helpful not only to each of us, but should help you to better understand yourself and your goals.

I strongly agree with Brian that your statement ”this is me” is a powerful declaration. Best wishes as you continue to build on it. You are not alone, and it does get better.

Blue

 

[woodenshoes]

Mathewgg37

Welcome to ms. Great group of people here as a resource. Heal well share as your strength allows.

Ws