gotta take the trip

gotta take the trip
Nathan,

It is very touching to remember your MS brother in this way. Just took a look back at this old, dormant thread.

Thank you for keeping the memory of Gunnar, who I never met, alive.

Cant
 
Life is so complicated sometimes...
I'm deeply moved by your feelings toward your friend Nathan. I'm sure he was great and warm person and I've felt honored to learn about your friendship.

Pero
 
Gunnar,

It doesn't seem or feel like 10 years have past!

That the boy I was that couldn't sleep, the one who had nightmares when he did. The one who couldn't cry or allow him self to feel. The boy you helped to become a man.

With out your advice, your kind words, your understanding. With out you pushing me forwards making me question what I through was true. Helping me find friends, and a new family here on MS.

I hope you would be proud of who I grew up into... [Remembering that when I was 10 years younger I didn't think I would make it to here! Couldn't see myself as an adult. Didn't want to be an adult].

I am indebted to you forever, for the love and friendship you showed to me as a lost child in a world, and shall carry on "Paying it Forwards", by in turn helping others become more always.

As I look around a site which when I was a teen, had supported and guiding me through the worst of times, I feel strangely at home, even though there are ten-thousand new names of siblings I have yet to meet.

When you were here, you introduced me to CyberChild, another teen at the time who was just as lost and confused as I was. When you died it cemented our friendship in time its self. For 10 years later, me and CyberChild's friendship is still as strong as ever. I even flew out to the USA (for the 5th time) to spend xmas and new year with him. And one of my favourite memories is when we both flew to Amsterdam your city, and had a drink to celebrate you.

The child you knew didn't have any good memories, just pain. I wish I could share with you now all these new memories I have created, all the exciting things I have done. And to let you know that the pain, the nightmares have nearly all gone, (Yes I still have the odd bad day, but it's not everyday). Thank you for not getting mad when I said I didn't believe you that one day it would get better, I guess I had to live it to believe it.

Now I need to go, I have a class of 30 eight-years to teach in the morning, and time and healing and yes even 2 year of therapy (I remember always swearing blind to you and most other people on MS I would never go do that!) has allowed me to sleep peaceful, as I hope you are now.

Catch you on the flip side.
Elliot!
 
Wow....MS now has "Old Days."

You look WAY back in some of those posts...wow! Where are they now?

I'm SO pleased and encouraged to see a departed MS member remembered like this.

Nearly the entire crowd I met here when I was first tossed up on the beach is gone....long gone.

I miss SO many of them. I wish they would pop-in some time and say "hay!"
 
Elliot,

I can only echo what you have said in this posting, it has been a challenging but rewarding decade. I know if it wasn't for Gunnar I would not be the man I am today. I hope that he is looking down on us an is proud of the men we have become. Love you always Gunnar an we will meet again one day.

Everyone,

Thank you for the kind words and the support, it is always a time of reflection when this day comes. It took just one man to shape an change my life an my friend's life forever. One simple survivor saved me from my self an set me on this path. We can never know the true depth of our actions and how they shape other people's lives. I am honored to volunteer an give back to my fellow survivors all because of a good friend made me laugh when no one else could. Even within the darkness you showed me there is light, there is hope, and there is love.

Lots of love to you an everyone on MS.

Nathan LaChine aka CyberChild
 
Amazing how quickly time passes..... I have never forgot the kindness, friendship, and humor that you shared with me. I hope that as the years go by I live up to your expectations and you know that I am human and make mistakes. What I would give just to spend one more night in chat with you. Thank you for all that you did for me my friend, you will always be missed but never forgotten.

Lots of love always,
Nathan
 
Another year is gone and I wanted you to know I will never forget you. Lord only knows where I would be if it wasn't for you. Life has been filled with challenges, adventures, and now love. I have you to thank for all of this. Thank you for helping me become the man I am today.

Love you always and forever in this life and the next.

Nathan
 
Gunnar,

As another year has passed by I spend the early hours this morning thinking about you and my first days here in chat. So much of my life has changed, I have literally grown up on this site..... Don't know if sticking around here for as long as I have is the best course of action or not. It's hard being one of the last men standing, all the old friends that you an I use to know have moved on or passed away. I miss the old days, I miss you an on this day I want you to know that I have never forgotten you.

I miss you now an always my friend,

Nathan
 
Nathan

Thank you for what you do here. I have only been here a short time but it is your stamina that has helped so many. I know loosing someone your close to hurts. Your memories speak volumes. There are great people hear and you are one. Thank you to Gunnar and you for the help you have given and continue to give.

Ws
 
I never knew you Gunner the Seaotter, HOW I WISH I HAD.
You must have been a VERY SPECIAL person.
Your words have touched my Sole, as I try to continue my healing.
I was in that very dark place a year ago, and I tried "IT" once and failed.
Today you lifted me up. Thank you.
RIP my brother
 
I never knew you Gunner the Seaotter, HOW I WISH I HAD.
You must have been a VERY SPECIAL person.
Your words have touched my Sole, as I try to continue my healing.
I was in that very dark place a year ago, and I tried "IT" once and failed.
Today you lifted me up. Thank you.
RIP my brother
 
I too never knew you, but you left indelible marks on many here. Your words are insightful and you inspired many. It is sad to see how the actions of demons can rob a child, for a lifetime, the joys and happiness they deserve and are entitled to have in life. Sad in the end, Gunner had to suffer such physical pain while he endured much hidden pain in life.

RIP

Kevin
 
Gunnar,

Simply amazing how far my life has come in the last 15 years since you passed away. Every time this day comes around I remember our conversations and the man that you where. Thank you for your friendship, kind words, and of course your courage.

Lots of love always,
Nathan
 
Gunnar,

I did not miss your day it's just that the forum and chat where under going major upgrades. I just want to say how much you mean to me and how grateful I am to have had you in my life.

Much love,
Nathan
 
Thank you Lloydy for posting those words to remember Gunnar by. I never knew him or talked with him but those words hit me in the gut and I feel like a bell went off in my head. Part of it is the "never bow his head" and the triumph over the darkness that one can be shrouded in.

I needed to read that as it gives me hope that I will get out of the space in which I am stuck.
 
Thank you for all the late night talks, all the support, and most importantly making me feel not alone. The spark of change you lit in me has continued to grow and resulted in many changes for myself and my community. The lives I touch and improve are a directly reflection of how you touched my life. Thank you for being the person I needed so many years ago.

lots of love always,
Nathan
 
Lloydy said:
Something to remember Gunnar by.

***************************************************
I knew a boy once, just a little boy.

Doing what all boys do, liking what every boy likes and playing and exploring that great new thing, which the world is to little boys.
.
.
.
***************************************************

Dave
Click to expand...
This was so profound and moving (search back on 1st page for Reply #8) - the ending made me cry. Touched my heart deeply with those truths. Gunnar was obviously a blessing to many here in the past, and thanks to this resurrected thread, he continues to bless this new generation of Survivors.
 
it is also an AMAZING coincidence that one of my power animals (from my PTSD Therapy sessions) turned out to be a Sea Otter - Thus the otter pic on my signature line. He is assigned to my 3-year-old "part" who endured the abuse from my perp-father. They ("3" and "Otter") are now graduated into the role of "Giver of fun" - allowing me to enjoy the fun moments in life.
 
Lloydy said:
Something to remember Gunnar by.

***************************************************

Dave
Click to expand...
that was beautiful,, i saw myself and im crying over the painful past i was put through but im also hopeful for the future ,, once i was in that pit of dispare in deepest darkness madness prying its way into my mind with no hope left till a special women (my T) showed me a tiny spark of light i clawed and fought my way towards the light which in time became just a little brighter a little closer and my hope grew just a little ,,as i was so far gone it took a long time to exit that pit of evil and darkness the women with the light coaxed me on a tiny bit here a little step forward there week after week month after month and year after year till i crawled over the edge of the pit to find the sun shining on my face with incredible warmth and then i knew i had beat the darkness within myself ready to continue my journey to perhaps find myself who knows ? but never to surrender myself again,,,,BB.
 
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