Leosha,
I know that what happened in the chat upsets you greatly. You tried to help someone find a voice for his pain. It turned out badly.
But I hope you will not feel you have to leave this online community. I hope that the issues which led to that problem can be corrected. As I said in another post, I want the man who did not feel safe to be able to come here and feel safe. Of course, that will be up to him. You know he is a remarkably strong person. Perhaps he will try again to join here when he feels differently. Whatever he does must be the best thing for him at the time he does it.
Yes, you are someone to be feared. Someone who hurt you as a boy fears you now. As you say, you are reclaiming your life and your power.
No, you are not evil. I believe it would take a lot of effort for you to be evil, more effort than it takes to heal. Evil is against your nature while healing and striving for better things are exactly your nature.
This place still means a great deal to me. I want it to be a safe place for male survivors and the people who care about us to seek and find help. I want it to be the best it can be. I believe we need to set clear boundaries, state them prominently, then respect them and one another. I believe that the more of us who can come here and do that, the more experience, strength, and hope we can share, the better this place will be for all of us.
I hope you will decide in your own time what is the best thing for you. I want you to know that I will call you friend whether you are here or not, for you have helped me many times with your written words and, even more, with your courage while facing the effects of the evil done to you.
Joe