Good books for an adult survivor
Good books for an adult survivor
- Thread startermiRichard
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Richard:
The military might know of some resources, since not only female soldiers get raped. But seems to me, most of what makes male rape different is the same for us at any age: doubting masculinity and orientation, guilt for not being able to fight off the attacker, shamed into silence, etc. Peace, eventually!
John
The military might know of some resources, since not only female soldiers get raped. But seems to me, most of what makes male rape different is the same for us at any age: doubting masculinity and orientation, guilt for not being able to fight off the attacker, shamed into silence, etc. Peace, eventually!
John
Richard:
p.s.: I'm reading Bessel Van Der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score," which has tons of insights into the post-traumatic experience that apply to all of us.
John
p.s.: I'm reading Bessel Van Der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score," which has tons of insights into the post-traumatic experience that apply to all of us.
John
I am not aware of any off hand, but even the books that deal with CSA are so hit-or-miss with me. One thing I have learned is that our experiences are like fingerprints, and no one book really speaks to all of it. For me - a survivor of a very protracted CSA and a single-episode ASA - the book that seemed to resonate the most was "Touched" by Scott Campbell. It talks about CSA in a story format - the writer inhabiting all the different characters (the trusting and confused victim, the clueless parents, the twisted and self-deluding abuser) and carries the story into the boy's adulthood. One thing the book made clear - and I suppose this interleaves with John's response about some of the more universal aspects of abuse across age or gender - is how the victimization continues long after the abuse ends. I was so impressed with the book that I spoke with the author. He told me that the story was definitely fictional and did not draw autobiographically from his personal experiences. That amazed me all the more with how incredibly insightful and sensitive it was. I was Robby in SO many ways. And my abuser was just a younger Jerry.
This may, I suppose, be useless dribble drabble. But it sort of illustrates that even with the vast compendium of books for CSA survivors from survivors and therapists (including "gurus" like Mike Lew), the one that really spoke to me the loudest was a fictional story from a self-described non-survivor. I hope you find what you are looking for. There are adult survivors here as well - including me - and you should feel free to PM anyone to talk about their journeys and perhaps some ideas on how to move forward with a positive and healthy approach to life.
This may, I suppose, be useless dribble drabble. But it sort of illustrates that even with the vast compendium of books for CSA survivors from survivors and therapists (including "gurus" like Mike Lew), the one that really spoke to me the loudest was a fictional story from a self-described non-survivor. I hope you find what you are looking for. There are adult survivors here as well - including me - and you should feel free to PM anyone to talk about their journeys and perhaps some ideas on how to move forward with a positive and healthy approach to life.
Read a book my therapist gave me with the best of intentions, Coping with Trauma by Dr Jon Allen - I HATED the way he writes. Arrogant, self-congratulating on what a great therapist he thinks he is, self-aggrandizing, presumptuous. He lumps all trauma together, no distinctions between men and women or age at time of trauma, lots of developmental theory but no accounting for family differences. I had a visceral reaction to some of his metaphors about trauma, which ended up leading to a great discussion with my therapist about how i get triggered. But i still think this author is a dipppshtt.
Personally there have been two books that were recommended to me, although I forget the author's right now:
Victim's No Longer - this is more about overcoming CSA but it REALLY makes some great points about how to work towards healthy emotions as an adult.
Betrayal Bonds - Great book that deals with more than just SA of any kind and is, IHO geared more towards adults who are/have been dealing with either/both adult and childhood trauma.
Victim's No Longer - this is more about overcoming CSA but it REALLY makes some great points about how to work towards healthy emotions as an adult.
Betrayal Bonds - Great book that deals with more than just SA of any kind and is, IHO geared more towards adults who are/have been dealing with either/both adult and childhood trauma.
