Going to my Home Town after 40 years

Going to my Home Town after 40 years
W

wojax

Registrant
This is Crazy to be concerned about going back were I was abused over 40 years ago. My Friend of 50 years is tuning 60 and I and my wife are going to surprize him by showing up. I left when i was 17 and have not been back in almost 40 years. This guy was my best friend and my prep wanted me to bring him and I would not do it
my friend never knew that. I told him about the molestation after I left home. we both had a good cry. Just wondering what you wonderful guys think. Gary
 
Gary,

I have been back many times since I grew up and loosed the bonds of my hometown. Still have family there. I had pretty much repressed any memories of the abuse, so there was nothing triggering about going back till 3 years ago. I've been back twice I think since then. The last time I was back was in Feb of this year, at which time I and my brother, Darrel, along with another MS member, visited the place where Darrel and I were abused. We left a few items there that had meaning. It was a very healing time, or I should say a time that brought about a lot of healing in my life over the next several weeks.

As far as you returning to your hometown, It could possibly be quite triggering as my first visit back there after I began to remember was. You might want to talk to your T concerning this visit and get some feedback on how to prepare yourself. Depending on your state of mind you might want to avoid going certain places, or conversely, you might want to specifically visit certain places. All good stuff to talk over with your therapist. Most importantly, make sure you're in a state of mind where this is possible.

Enjoy the visit with your friend, It sounds as if he has been a good support to you at times and could very well be again.

Lots of love,

John
 
Gary,

Following up on what John has said, I would suggest that you make sure your wife knows that this visit could become very emotional for you. You might get triggered in ways you don't expect, and ifd that happens you will need a source of strength.

God bless and I hope it works out for you.

Much love,
Larry
 
Gary --

It is strange because intellectually I know its over and I would love to revisit my hometown (a great city I miss). But I have only been working on this for short time and know I'm not ready. It is cool that you wife is with you and that it is for a short time. All in all, it sounds like you are walking through some fear which is cool.

Best,
J
 
Thanks Guys I knew i could count on you guys for good advice, My prep does not live there anymore. Again thanks
 
Gary,

The perp doesn't have to live there now for you to be triggered there. All kinds of things could bring heavy and vivid memories flooding back. As before, I would just say take care and make sure you have informed support with you in case you need it.

Much love,
Larry
 
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