Giving up

Giving up
D

duncanUK

Registrant
Hi Guys

I am sorry to have to say this. But I am giving into my current situation. I have listened and taken on board everything that I have being told.

At present I see no other way, as a result of this i cannot see any point in me being here. I have also been told here that Iam too self centred.I do care for others here but cant care for myself.

I lack feelings, cant cry for me. Thats all i can say.

duncan
(defeated)
 
Hi Duncan, I am sorry someone said you were self centered! You are not self centered, you are just in a lot of pain! Part of that pain is that deep down where no one can see, you blame yourself for what happened to you! I see you have not yet written your survivor story and placed it in the survivors stories forum. I am not pushing you to do that, do it when you are ready to do so.
Lets talk about opening up, guys are conditioned to not open up to other guys, I am not surprised that you are having a hard time with this. We are conditioned to only open up to women.
There is another web site that you can go to called Pandora\'s Aquarium There are about 3000 ladies there, and maybe 150 guys there, while they have a male forum there, most of the guys don't use it, they are out in the main forum where the girls can see their posts, they need the girls input. Maybe you can open up there. Yes I am there, I go by lostcowboy also. I am there because I need the female input. It is totally different that the male input. Maybe you can open up there.
I am not going to try and get you to not go. You know best. But I will ask you to not burn your bridges, write down your handle and password, so that when/if you want to come back you can.

Take care, I will miss seeing you on the boards.

Clifford
 
Hello Duncan,

I have not been as regular a visitor to this site as I once was so I do not know what you have been told by your peers here.

What I do know, however, is that we are all survivors who may still carry varying amounts of related emotional baggage. While I try to empathize with everyone, and respond with "I" statements (writing from my own experience without projecting feelings, or anything else, onto anyone else), it is a discipline which takes practice and which, I am the first to admit, alludes me sometimes.

If "by taking on board everything I have been told" you mean that you have not discerned what (experience or advice offered) applies to you and what does not, I can relate to that. I have, for as long as I can remember, been quite easily influenced by others - positively often, but also negatively. As a survivor, I continue to work on that.

To say, "At present I see no other way, as a result of this i cannot see any point in me being here," reminds me of my black-and-white, all-or-nothing way of looking at things. As for not being able to care for yourself, again, that is something I - and I know others - can relate to.

I would encourage you to stay and understand that not everyone here can relate to each one of us detail-by-detail. There's plenty to read here, some of which will be helpful and some not.

You may find, as do I, that you need to log on less often sometimes. It is hard work to be here and it is difficult to examine the issues here constantly.

Peace,

Kenn
 
Duncan, I dont think you are self centred.
What I do know, is that we have all been in that place of feeling so low and wanting to just give up.

It takes a load of courage to keep going, but you must always think that the hurt gets easier.
Get some depression meds from your gp.

Look towards the goal of being tested for stds.
I know its incredibly hard, but nothing is impossible if you make a point of passing through hurdles in your way.

I hope you stay,

ste
 
duncan,

In the times we have talked in the chat, I knew you were hurting. I am sad someone would go so far as to slam you like that. It angers me that people would go that far. I need correcting too, and would hope that I haven't contributed to your current state of heart over the site. I would rather you stay.
 
Duncan,
I have enjoyed my chats with you. I hate to see you go. This is a very interconnected network of support here. We all need each other, and that includes needing you too. If you need time off, take it, but please don't write us off completely,
Paul
 
YOU CAN GIVE UP , BUT THE PROBLEMS WILL STILL BE THERE . AND SO WILL I .
 
i know how you feel having been told in chat yesterday that my attempts to talk about very personal feelings were "whining", that he "didnt want to listen to anymore." the fact is that some people are grade A assholes but try not to let it get to you. everyone is self centered in a way, how can you not be when by definition everything you experience filters into YOU? but you are not selfish duncan. you are just like the rest of us, trying to find your way.
 
removed comments from here that were incorrect, re batcountry comment.
 
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