Get To Where I want To Belong
In order for me to get mentally & emotionally well, or at least significantly better, I feel I must make peace with & forgive my abusers.
My Dad (deceased) who fondled me in the bathtub ( I think it was him), Bob,who was nice to me,but who introduced me to male on male sex when I was too young;Bruce, who abused, bullied & traumatized me; Tim who abused & bullied & threatened me: Bob(2), who called me a fairy & "Tiny Tim" & introduced me to weed & LSD,etc.; Dale, the counselor who got me drunk & assaulted me, Rufus, the "nice helpful guy" who helped extremely intoxicated me to get home & then helped himself to my blacked out body; Leo, who also took advantage of a drunken me (I just now remembered about him); and -Unknown Name- who violently assaulted me 2x,. I must forgive my Mother, & Dad, who ended up with 3 out of 3 disfunctional kids, & I must forgive myself for my screwing up my life even more with drugs, alcohol, sex addiction, self- hatred, fearful, angry,getting myself in situations, usually wasted, for opportunists to take advantage of me... also forgive myself for hurting friends & losing them because of what I said & my actions. I hurt myself most of all. But it's all in the past... I love you little Tom, & grown up Tom.
My Dad (deceased) who fondled me in the bathtub ( I think it was him), Bob,who was nice to me,but who introduced me to male on male sex when I was too young;Bruce, who abused, bullied & traumatized me; Tim who abused & bullied & threatened me: Bob(2), who called me a fairy & "Tiny Tim" & introduced me to weed & LSD,etc.; Dale, the counselor who got me drunk & assaulted me, Rufus, the "nice helpful guy" who helped extremely intoxicated me to get home & then helped himself to my blacked out body; Leo, who also took advantage of a drunken me (I just now remembered about him); and -Unknown Name- who violently assaulted me 2x,. I must forgive my Mother, & Dad, who ended up with 3 out of 3 disfunctional kids, & I must forgive myself for my screwing up my life even more with drugs, alcohol, sex addiction, self- hatred, fearful, angry,getting myself in situations, usually wasted, for opportunists to take advantage of me... also forgive myself for hurting friends & losing them because of what I said & my actions. I hurt myself most of all. But it's all in the past... I love you little Tom, & grown up Tom.
