Get thee to group...

Get thee to group...
I

Ivanhoe

Registrant
Well, guys, here goes.

In just a matter of hours, I'll be going to my first group meeting of the five that are assembled, waiting for me.
Well, they're not just waiting for me, but already there, waiting to see who this new guy is.
There are normally seven in the group, so now, with one "graduate" and one moving out of town, there is room for me, and someone else who will be joining in a couple of weeks.
I've had therapy before, as some of you know, and I've been a member of group therapy before, but no one was talking about CSA then, or even really treating for it.
So, here goes, I've known the therapist for just six months...he is a founder of Male Survivor and he thinks that I'm ready for group...these are his "chosen seven."

I will give you updates, if you're interested, on whether or not this makes any difference in my life. I'm approaching it with great anticipation, much like when I found this site. This site saved my life...maybe group will save my spirit.

Thanks for all that you have done for me, here. You are brothers and I will never be able to thank you enough for what happens here and for how I have been helped, here.

See you tonight or tomorrow with that first report.

David
 
I look forward to my weekly group session, it's a mixture of shock, horror, madness and sadness. And that's on the plus side !

It is a shock to listen to someone elses story face to face. But when you feel the power behind the release of that strory, when the emotions grip the whole group, you KNOW that it works.

Can we ever get used to the horror and madness that other human beings - often our families - can do such things to us ? probably not entirely, and that's a good thing. If we didn't 'feel' the horror and madness we wouldn't fight the way we do.

The sadness is just as essential, we NEED to feel sad about our lost years - especially the childhood ones. By feeling the sadness we begin to feel the TRUE way we were, and discover that it wasn't our fault.

Also on the plus side is the laughing till we hurt, the support and true friendships that I know have developed. The building of self esteem and confidence, the sharing of ideas and contacts.

I can't honestly think of a down side to group work, and where else can a bunch of guys sit around talking for a couple of hours, drink free coffee and eat free cookies ?

Dave :D
 
Good Luck David,

Luck? Naw, have a safe and successful journey into group.

Take care,
Bill
 
Ivanhoe,
The 6 things that saved my life & sanity.

1) Individual counseling
2) Medication
3) Group Therapy
4) Medical Leave Act
5) Making a friend in/from group I can still talk with
6) Having a supportive family (the ones I told)

Group was much more scary for me than Individual. The first time I stepped into the group I was so nervous I felt my skin would just slide off. I nearly disacosiated. And I felt numb afterwards. But it got much easyier rather quickly. And soon I realized how much I was gaining from it. I loved & hated to go. It was hard & painful work, but I know it helped keep me alive.
What I Hated. Well, there were triggers, lot of them. I hurt to hear others' pain & suffering. And facing issues I wished would "just go away" was very difficult.
What I loved. Being validated. Listened to. Believed. Hearing someone say, "Man, I feel/felt like that too". Knowing I'm not alone. That I can speak, or cry, scream, & not be judged or feared, but instead see the faces of sincere compassion & concern. I felt could released some demons & I felt I matered.

More power to you Ivanhoe. Sincerely, Blacken.
 
David,

By now you've been to group. I'm going to guess that you made it through ok. And I'll bet that you'll find the guys there thanking you for the way you help them.

Here's some good words I recently got from someone I admire a great deal. I think it applies to what you're doing now.
You know what? This is a good thing. You're going to meet some really supportive people through this action. Some of them will end up being your friends. Believe it. It is true.
Click to expand...
Thanks,

Joe
 
I've been in group for six weeks now,still have six more to go, it has changed my life and has my S.A recovery move ahead alot faster.

Way to go, hope it does the same for you.
 
Well, first session is over and I want to thank you guys for giving me the support that Ive grown to know that flows so freely, here.
You would have been proud of meI gave them all the name of this siteso, we might have some new members after they see what goes on here.

Joe, have I seen those words before, or am I not remembering correctly? Forgetting does happen around the age of people as old as me.

I cant go into too much detail because of the confidentiality thing, but there are five of uswe could become sixand it seems to be a good mix. I think that Im 10 to 15 years older than anybody but I think that Im that much older here, too. We didnt get too heavily involved tonight, in that they introduced themselves to me, and even though I wasnt required to speak at all this first session, I told them some of my story, too, just to show them that I wanted to be a part of the group.
It looks like its going to be ok. I usually scare myself to death as I become involved with new experiences. You know, think the worst, so that anything else has got to be better.
Thanks, again, for your support and encouragement, its always appreciated.
David
 
:)

David,

You faced something that you were nervous about AND made a big step toward recovery.

I'm proud of you, my brother. As someone who gives so much, it's a great thing to continue taking steps for yourself.

So many of us owe you much, and we never had any doubt that you would do well in this next step.

Again, I'm proud of you, David. :D

Peace and love,

Scot(d)
 
David: Way to go brother. And you ain't that old yet.

It can be a scary thing but what I found was that by the mid point guys were talking more or less freely and at times even confronting people about their fears.

Wow what kind of pull do you have to be in a group led my a founder of MaleSurvivor. Lucky Mod I guess.
 
David
someone just mentioned that group member can often become friends, and it's true.

My friend 'Bob' is a member of our group, and he has become a true friend. He was here at our house for about three hours last Sunday, just chilling and doing some stuff on the computor because he doesn't have one.
And he's got to be one of the best examples of the benefits that groups can have on someone.
I've known him for about 6 years, we shared the same one-to-one guy and met in the waiting room. Bob was so withdrawn he'd barely look up from the floor let alone speak. He was drinking and self harming back then as well. I took him to the first group session and he wasn't much different

Now he's working, bought a Suzuki 600, got a steady girlfriend and is confident enough to just knock on our door to see if I'm here.
The boost to his self confidence is amazing, as it has been to all the guys in our group ( people have commented about mine, and they don't know what I'm doing ) There's so much to gain from groups, I just love them ( incase you hadn't noticed :D )

But like everything else, you get out what you put in. And I don't think you'll have a problem with that !

Dave
 
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