GAY? STRAIGHT?GAY? STRAIGHT? ANYONE ELSE TIRED OF THIS QUESTION ***POSSIBLE TRIGGER

[one_day_at_a_time]

I know that as a victim of SA questioning your sexual identity can be quite a problem. I know that I have struggled with this especially. I just came from a gay chat site where I was in the process of acting out (completely trembling while I was doing it). Thank god my computer froze and I had to restart it right before I was about to "finish."
Even when I come to this site, I feel like I search for the threads that say trigger for some unknown reason. It really sux.

Even though I dont beleive Im gay, I still feel a strong need to act out. I just want to go somewhere, like San Fran or Europe, where no one knows me and just meet some guy in a club and do whatever. But I know that I have felt like this before and acted out through porn sites and felt like absolute shit afterwards. Complete shit. But I wanted it so bad before and then after I wish that I had never done it. I know this but I still feel this way and I dont want it to drive me to acting out with another man and then highly regretting it. I pray that I will have the strength to fight this urge inside of me but it is really hard. God help me. SOMEONE HELP ME

 

[dale1812]

I know exactly what you are talking about. Don't give into that urge that will leave you empty and hollow inside. You are craving a natural and genuine desire to be close to another man. It's hard to find, but you can find another man who would be willing to develop an emotional (not sexual) relationship. I know your pain...I've joined a men's group for this very reason. I'll be praying for you Brother. [email protected]

 

[Ivanhoe]

Hey, One Day,

I have some information that might prove to be required reading around here; I'm checking it out with the head shed before passing it out around here.
As you've said, it is a topic of great concern for all of us. Whether we are gay or not, and if our perp was male, we can convince ourselves that the perp's actions caused us to be or not to be, but always question our orientation.
It's a thoughtful piece and if I get permission, I'll see if it can be included in our list of "must reads."
In the meantime, please try to relax and know that we are all in this together and we struggle with this and other questions to which there are answers. I know that some of this can just about drive us crazy, but with a little patience, some good therapy and posting here, we should be able to figure out who we are and just about where we want to be.
I hope that this doesnt sound too Mr. Pollyanna, but Im feeling especially positive today.
Stay tuned and Ill get back to you on this thread, soon.

David