Gay rape is a crime (trigger)

Gay rape is a crime (trigger)
H

heart

Registrant
I have just read something prompting me to write this:

I was raped first aged 17, in 1977, by a guy I had been going out with for about a month or so and he told me to get lost after raping me. Then 2 years later a guy I picked up in a gay club took me back to his hotel and raped me. I actually felt worse the second time round because by this time I thought I must be cursed.

I knew I was gay from age 11. I never called those rape until I came to recovery because at the time I thought rape was something that only happened to women. The first guy who raped me told me that this was the way it's meant to be after I'd complained to him about the pain and the bleeding. The second time I was raped I just kept my mouth shut.

I remember the first time I understood I had been raped was at a gay recovering sex addict meeting and a guy was describing his rape and I just cried for the whole meeting, it felt like he was describing my experience word for word.

Part of me as well did not feel I had the right to say I had been raped as I am gay and "gays do it where the sun doesn't shine" (sorry I have been wondering how to say it, so this will do!).

I just needed to write this down and I feel like apologizing, but then I don't have to apologize for having been raped.

Heart
 
Heart you are a decent human being. And because of that there is no way in hell that you should have; a)been raped b)have int happen a second time and C) ever feel guilty about it. It is their shame and guilt. A rapist is a self centred asshole who thinks only of himself and usually has some very deep problems of his own.

You are gay!! So what!! It is probably more difficult for you in society (damned if I know why- probably fear of unknown by society) but my brother you are a decent guy. It does not matter if you are black, blue, green, gay, straight,in-between, catholic, islamic (is that a word), baptist, or atheist. AND THAT IS THE REAL GOODS.

I am proud of you for being where you are today and with us. :p
 
No, you don't have to apologize.

Rape is rape. I don't believe in "gay" rape. After all, is there such a thing as "straight" rape?

What these men did was in NO WAY connected to being gay. They were selfish pricks who wanted power. You can't remove the sexual element from it, and I wouldn't even suggest it, but rape ain't about sex, it's about domination and control.

I know what this is like. before the memories of the childhood abuse came back, I cruised the internet for guys. One of them raped me at gunpoint. I felt guilty when THAT memory came back (repression is a defense mechanism of mine, it seems) about being traumatized, because I ASKED for it. I WENT to this guy looking for sex, and I made the mistake of telling him I liked being "forced."

Crap. All of the guilt was crap. It wasn't my fault. I have every right to be angry and sad about it. Every right to say I was a rape victim as an adult. I had no choice. Neither did you.


TRIGGER ALERT! TRIGGER ALERT! TRIGGER ALERT! TRIGGER ALERT!

He stuck the gun in my mouth. He violated me with the gun as well. If that isn't rape, what is?

If what happened to you wasn't rape, what is?

END TRIGGER! END TRIGGER! END TRIGGER! END TRIGGER!


Please understand that.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Heart,

the only thing I know is this, that any sexual violation of the human body is rape, it doesn't matter what the act is

stay safe

ste
 
Heart - Thanks for sharing your expwerience!! It takes courage to step forward and accept what happened for what it really was!! Apologies??? That asshole who raped you owes more than an apology!!! You were the victim! I say "were" because by talking about it, you are stepping from victim to survivor to freedom!! Keep erecovering!! Keep your courage!!

Howard
 
Heart -

Strange how we tend to be so apologetic...and for what? For surviving? For living to tell our stories, our hell?

It takes courage to press on when to do otherwise seems (ONLY seems) so much easier.

Peace,
Kenn
 
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