I've written multiple replies and deleted them. I'm less interested in this subject matter as it has been mostly resolved for me. I'm facing the pain beneath the surface SSA. Or at least I'm readying myself to lean in to it. The SSA was a faulty salve on a combination of wounds that only temporarily numbed the pain. It was "easier" to be caught up in shame than to face the pain. I'm planning on starting new threads in other forums that deal with some of the universal or broader pains that many of us share and heal. SSA discussions have been valuable for me. Now I'm dealing with the issues that led to SSA as a way to try to cope with loss, abandonment, neglect, abuse, isolation and a very skewed self-perception and the related stories I've been telling myself about myself and others for a very long time. I'm ready for change. But I support the men who want to discuss SSA and orientation issues in ways that aren't currently widely accepted or even tolerated.