FYI Segment on Dr. Phil show on molestratino of boys in family 4/6

FYI Segment on Dr. Phil show on molestratino of boys in family 4/6
P

Peaceful

Registrant
The Dr. Phil show has a segment on molestration within on family today. April 6.

Here's the blurb: What's really going on inside your neighbor's home? A 17-year-old is about to be released from treatment for molesting his younger siblings. Is his family ready for him to come home? Then, Stephanie was brutally raped when she was 17 a secret that has been taking a toll on her marriage and family. Now she's ready to reclaim her life. Plus, a mother who's gambled away her diamond ring, retirement fund and her children's college money. See what happens when she comes clean.

Tapes are available if you missed it on their web page https://www.drphil.com/ ($29.95 or available as a download transcrip $6.000).

Don't have TV access myself so I can't comment it.

Peaceful
 
Hi, all. You have a near celebrity in your midst.... My name is Teresa and my family's story was featured on the Dr. Phil Show on April 6th. I was invited to this site and am so happy to find it. Our 17-year-old son was sexually abused before the age of 3, we believe now by a female relative. The heartaches caused by his abuse were already extremely painful -- when we discovered at the age of 12 that he had acted out against our other son, it became unbearable. Despite trying to treat him, he then molested our daughter when he was 16. We struggle daily with the despair of having to make a hard choice; we had to choose to remove one child from our home because he was a risk to our other two children. We welcome any questions and comments. Talking about this has proven very therapeutic for me. Just wanted to introduce myself. Autographs are still free but they'll soon be a hot item on Ebay!!! :)

(edited by moderator to remove personal information)
 
Hi Teresa, I am the one that invited you. I go by lostcowboy over here also.

The way I see it anyone that has the guts to go on Dr. Phil's show, and stay on their message board for as long as you did, had to be invited here. I see SAR has sent you a PM, probable letting you know about all the rules for the different forums on here. If not, some of the forums are for males only, there should be a statement to that effect on the forum. Females can read them, but are not to post to them. If a guy has posted a message that you feel strongly about you can send him a PM.
I hope you find lots of support and friends here.
Ok, I'll leave for now and let you girls get to know each other.
 
probable letting you know about all the rules for the different forums on here. If not, some of the forums are for males only, there should be a statement to that effect on the forum
Click to expand...
Actually not ;)

But if anyone is unsure about posting in a particular forum, the best thing to do is check the forum description, posted at the top of each forum (usually in blue letters).

The forum description will help you decide where your post belongs and we ask that only male survivors post in a certain forum, it will mention that in the description-- for example, the Sexual Identity Issues forum description reads "A place for discussions among male survivors about sexuality."

The public forums are open for everyone to read. As lostcowboy said, most people are open to receiving Private Messages about their posts, but if you PM a male survivor about something posted on a men-only forum, it's nice to identify yourself as a woman right away.

And as always, you can talk to any of the moderating team about any question or issue on the site.

SAR
 
Hi Nurse Tree

Welcome to the site. I didn't get a chance to view the show, but someone was suppose to tape it for me.

I too have had a son 14 yr who molested my 6 yr a few months ago. He also disclosed that he was molested when he was 5 by another 14 yr old. You can search for my other posts by clicking on my name Peaceful and then clicking on my posts.

I can only imagine how difficult your situation is for you. One incident is bad enough, but to involved all your children makes for some intense dynamics.

It was quite gutsy of you to go on the show. I'm glad/relieved to hear that it's been theraputic for you. Hope they offered you counseling afterwards.

Maybe we ought to start a thread on Abuse between siblings.

I'm still in the throws of our situation. In the middle of changing therapists and my oldest has his first meeting with the probation officer on Friday to talk about procedures, how the system works, etc.

Luckily, my youngest is doing well and doesn't seem too affected by it all at this point. He's asked alot of questions and we've had several conversations about sex, penises, etc. But that's been good.

Our housefold and sleeping arrangements are still unsettled. The boys used to share a room together. We have unfinished house projects begging to started.

My husband had to postpone finishing his dissertation.

And I could go on, but suffice it to say there's still lots of unfinished business. 3 of us are on anti-depressants with positive results. I started my own therapy to deal with my own CSA and that's been good.

My husband and I have recognized some of our significant issues. Some of those won't be resolved until we deal with some of our individual issues.

So at least there's a lot in the "works" now in our family. Lot of that is good, but the process is a bit painful at times.

It's been a hard few months. We have some people that we've told, but it's a hard topic to approch with people. Plus, we still trying to keep it quiet. We live in a relatively small town and my husband is well known.

Look forward to hearing more from you on this forum.

Peaceful
 
Hi Nurse Tree

Welcome to the site. I didn't get a chance to view the show, but someone was suppose to tape it for me.

I too have had a son 14 yr who molested my 6 yr a few months ago. He also disclosed that he was molested when he was 5 by another 14 yr old. You can search for my other posts by clicking on my name Peaceful and then clicking on my posts.

I can only imagine how difficult your situation is for you. One incident is bad enough, but to involved all your children makes for some intense dynamics.

It was quite gutsy of you to go on the show. I'm glad/relieved to hear that it's been theraputic for you. Hope they offered you counseling afterwards.

Maybe we ought to start a thread on Abuse between siblings.

I'm still in the throws of our situation. In the middle of changing therapists and my oldest has his first meeting with the probation officer on Friday to talk about procedures, how the system works, etc.

Luckily, my youngest is doing well and doesn't seem too affected by it all at this point. He's asked alot of questions and we've had several conversations about sex, penises, etc. But that's been good.

Our housefold and sleeping arrangements are still unsettled. The boys used to share a room together. We have unfinished house projects begging to started.

My husband had to postpone finishing his dissertation.

And I could go on, but suffice it to say there's still lots of unfinished business. 3 of us are on anti-depressants with positive results. I started my own therapy to deal with my own CSA and that's been good.

My husband and I have recognized some of our significant issues. Some of those won't be resolved until we deal with some of our individual issues.

So at least there's a lot in the "works" now in our family. Lot of that is good, but the process is a bit painful at times.

It's been a hard few months. We have some people that we've told, but it's a hard topic to approch with people. Plus, we still trying to keep it quiet. We live in a relatively small town and my husband is well known.

Look forward to hearing more from you on this forum.

Peaceful
 
Thank you for welcoming me! I have been amazed since our appearance on Dr. Phil how many people have posted to the web site at drphil.com regarding our show and how many e-mails I've received. I'd like to invite you to that site. If you go onto the message board archives and then into April 2005 shows, you'll find a heading that reads "Secrets in the Suburbs." Our show aired April 6th. If you click into it, you can read about the show and access the message board if you wish. It's sad to me to see how epidemic this problem is but in an odd way, it reduced the shame some to know we're not alone. My youngest son sits and reads messages on the board and my replies to them and my e-mails and now he wants us to go on Oprah! Before we went on Dr. Phil, we talked with our children to make sure they were okay with it. Even though their faces weren't shown, I was afraid there could be negative fallout if any of their friends or their parents saw it and recognized Dan and I. My youngest son, a 12-year-old middle school student, cocked his head,looked over his glasses and told me quite matter-of-factly, "mom, my friends don't watch Dr. Phil!" I think his wanting us to do Oprah now to help spread public awareness is testament to the excellent job his therapist has done in reducing the shame he probably felt to have been victimized. I'm so proud that we've handled it the way we have. For the record, Dr. Phil is just as kind and compassionate as he seems on t.v. I felt at ease immediately when I stepped out onto the stage with him. It felt intimate, not like we were in front of millions of viewers. Not too many people have approached me at work about the show but a few have. I've also heard that people have talked amongst themselves "I think I saw someone on Dr. Phil that works here". That's okay too but I hope they will know that I'm approachable about the subject and am pleased that our appearance has at least gotten some discussions rolling. Thank you, Lost Cowboy, for inviting me here. I can already tell that it's going to be a warm and supportive place to be!
 
I missed the show... gonna have to get the tape when I got the extra money (thanx for the link)

My abuse was also by a close family member (uncle) - so this is a VERY important topic for me - I am so very proud of Nurse Tree and her family for haveing the courage to be able to go on a show such as Dr. Phill's and bring some light onto something that happens far too often but is normaly kept in silence - this is no 'little' problem within our society - this needs to be brought out into the open where something can be done to prevent it...

Again - very proud to meet you Nurse Tree

Take care,

TJ jeff
 
Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry that it happened to you also. Sexual abuse by anyone is heinous but when it's also incest.....no one can understand unless they've been through it. You're supposed to be able to trust your family and this tears at the core of that trust, leaving feelings of profound unworthiness and emptiness. Keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault -- and you ARE worthy! Public awareness is so important. People don't want to talk about it -- they'd rather sweep it under the rug -- so my latest endeavor is to do what I can to innundate them with it so they have to do something about it. This is a problem that affects all walks of life, all socioeconomic groups, all races and it has gone on for hundreds of years. As a nurse, I occasionally work shifts at the psychiatric hospital and estimates of 50% seem low to me as far as patients having abuse in their histories. As far as I can tell, almost all of them do. Take gentle care of you.
 
There have been a few of us who have tried to get Oprah to do a show on boys and not just girls. Here read this thread https://malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=000489 This is where we all emailed almost daily and got no reply from her staff on this. If you can get her to do a show on this subject please do.

James

PS: You are very brave for telling your story. I also missed the show. But being a survivor of CSA I know just how hard it is to tell anyone. Thank you for standing up for those who cant. ((hugs))
 
bringing Public awareness to this silent problem is something that burns to the very core of my being!!! (perhaps maybe it is my lifes destiny) - there are many, many forms of abuse (I've lived through 18+ years of physical/mental as well as the 5 years of S/A) - people need to understand the depth of the ways in which such actions against a child harm them... - people just simply cannot understand unless we are willing to explain it to them untill they understand...

I have some unfinished bussiness to settle with my Uncle yet (and my mother - P/A and M/A) - and then I will be fully able to come out into the public eye and help to raise awareness that this is no 'little' problem

If indeed you are able to get any response out of Oprah - PLEASE let us know! - there are many here who would love to have a chance to let our voices be heard...

Best of wishes to you,

TJ jeff

P.S. - give your kids some hugs for me - they are very brave to step out into the public and let their past be known
 
Wow. I didn't know how hard it is normally to get onto one of these shows. I had a direct number, given to me by a victims' rights group, to one of the producers at Dr. Phil and we were in L.A. taping the show less than 2 1/2 weeks later! (I thought that was pretty quick. Shows what connections can do, huh?) I will write to Oprah very soon and send them a copy of a picture of us with Dr. Phil (both shows are produced by Harpo -- Oprah's production company). That might be enough to at least get my letter noticed so it will stand out. We had to sign loads of releases and I don't think we're allowed to appear on another talk show for either 60 or 90 days but trust me, we're not through. This has got to become a matter of public interest. I have also begun to volunteer for the victims' right group here in my city and testified in front of a Corrections Subcommittee of my state's house of representatives last Thursday. It makes me MAD that this population, especially male survivors, has been ignored and made to feel too ashamed to speak out for way too long. Let's work together on this. I have contacts and I'm not afraid to use them!!! Hugs, Teresa
 
Well I know from the thread I posted the link to there were quite a few men from here who were willing to share there story's as well. I am still willing to share mine.
 
Hi Nurse Tree,

I saw the first part of the show and didn't watch the second show because it hit to close to home.

It was just to hard.

You and your family are very couragous to step up and tell the world this CSA still exists and we as survivors help each other.
 
You're talking about a show that was done on February 24th and 25th. They had a show about a 19 year old who was suspected of molesting his 4 year old sister. They did a polygraph and of course, he failed it miserably. That show provided the catalyst for me to contact one of the producers. (I had spoken with her a few months before and was told the subject was "too sensitive" because my children are minors.) Our show was divided into three segments; we had the first 15 mins. and it aired on April 6th.
 
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