frustrated and lonely

frustrated and lonely
B

Brayton_dup1

Registrant
Last week I took a vacation which was, in large part, very nice.

I returned today to find that I cannot login as Brayton anymore because my password is no longer correct so I cannot get any PMs that may be waiting for me. That is frustrating and feels hurtful, too.

Drivers for mass transit here--which I use and have to use almost exclusively--are on strike with no talks scheduled. That means I cannot get to and from therapy appointments among other things.

I had a bad sexual experience while I was on vacation for which there seems no--whatever--for. Its an ongoing situation of reabuse wherein no one is really to blame because he is unknowing and I am "un-telling." (Ever the victim--not strong enough to get out--it really isn't feasible).

"A safe place" is ever elusive.

Brett (the same old "Brayton")
 
brett,
i am sorry to hear about the lousy weekend. i was having password troubles before as well, but fortunately they worked out. not the same as yours, so i cannot offer any suggestions. i hope you can find some balance about what happened during your vacation. if i can help just let me know.
 
Brett,

Let's start with the positives, shall we? I'm glad your vacation was pleasant for the most part, and I hope the good stuff has recharged you.

As for the bad stuff, well, I'm sorry that it happened. It's so complex, why we do the things we do, but the best we can hope for (and you're probably sick to DEATH of hearing this :D ) is learn from it and incoporate it into the packsge of behaviors you learn from.

You're human, brother. Nothing more, nothing less, and we all make mistakes. Talk it through when you DO get to your therapist and see what you can make of it.

Brett, I'm glad you're here and I hope I can help you if you need it. I'm always here for you.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
brett, my friend. i was worried about you. i am sorry it hasnt gone well. i know when i forgot my password, they emailed it too me. i can't remember where but there is a form for lost login. i dont know if that will help. again, sorry to hear things went so bad.
 
Thanks guys.

I did talk it through with my therapist though it was difficult for me and she helped me understand it and to find ways to protect myself in future. Also, to recognize and accept that the disassociation that occurred is a natural coping mechanism.

I am feeling better today and positive. I am more into recovery than regression today, much more optimistic and competent.

Brett
 
Recovery has its ups and downs. You are going up for a while, then you seem to go down for a while; however, you will notice that your ups exceed your downs. Sometimes I feel like I've been wasting all of my time by trying to get better. I cannot see the improvement that I've made. I think it's because my downs feel worse than my ups feel good ( :confused: ).

We have to do like the fish, Dori, does in Finding Nemo. She says, "Just keep swimming...just keep swimming." At first, it seems like she's too simple minded to realize the seriousness of her troubles. However, I think she has discovered a truth in oversoming problems (I realize that this idea is a stretch for a cartoon fish). She stays focused on hope. For us it's like "just keep trying...just keep trying." We will be much better in the end. :)
 
I am so sorry about the situation that occurred over vacation. I wish that you were able to speak out for yourself, for your protection. But I am sure that at some point you will be able to. You are a strong man, and you will become stronger in that area also. Please be good to yourself, and attempt to keep yourself safe. I wish you well.

Leosha
 
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