friends from my past
eagle79
Registrant
I know I have not been on here in FOREVER, but part of me just didn't want to relive the trauma that I went through back when I was kid/teen. But this past week an old school friend of mine from 91 to 94 found me facebook. She was a great friend, but I left for Oregon in 94 and I lost contact with everybody from my days in South Cali. But she found me, and I looked at her info and photos and noticed that she has been married for 19 years and she has three children with the oldest being 19. A lovely family no doubt! I would also find out about my other friends and where they are now, and they all sound like they have wonderful perfect lives.
And yet here I am, the lost and lonely soul who got stuck. Shit happened to me, and nothing nice, and I never moved on because of it. The trauma of what I went through held me back, made me worse, made me feel like the outsider, and made me feel unwanted. Everybody moved on in life, got married, had children, maybe had a divorce and married again, but as for me I got stuck.
All I want to do now is delete my facebook and forget about them. I am feeling negative because of how good these old friends feel, and it doesn't do me any good. I was raped, abused and assaulted, and I got stuck because of it, where as they kept on moving forward. And good for them, I am not wishing any pain on them at all, but I just wish that I lived a good life where nothing ugly happened to me.
Anyway, that is how I feel right now. I am hurt and feeling negative towards myself again, and that is why I am back on here. This time I plan on staying.
And yet here I am, the lost and lonely soul who got stuck. Shit happened to me, and nothing nice, and I never moved on because of it. The trauma of what I went through held me back, made me worse, made me feel like the outsider, and made me feel unwanted. Everybody moved on in life, got married, had children, maybe had a divorce and married again, but as for me I got stuck.
All I want to do now is delete my facebook and forget about them. I am feeling negative because of how good these old friends feel, and it doesn't do me any good. I was raped, abused and assaulted, and I got stuck because of it, where as they kept on moving forward. And good for them, I am not wishing any pain on them at all, but I just wish that I lived a good life where nothing ugly happened to me.
Anyway, that is how I feel right now. I am hurt and feeling negative towards myself again, and that is why I am back on here. This time I plan on staying.