Freek

Freek
A

ak

Registrant
I try, with my therapist to help now, to explain to my father what happen. I tried before, he get angry with me, say I am gay, ask why I let him do that to me. I never even get to tell him no more of it. So my therpist try help me explain to him. He did not know I am in therpy before this. So now he think me crazy too. He call me freek,and say I need stop doing therapy, because no one of our family will be crazy person.

Not is first time, but most definite time, I am going agianst my father. I need help. I am paying it. And is something I am doing not because it is what others make me do. Iwish he understand. I wish he let me and therapoist explain it. But I still going to go.
 
Nobody in my family gets.

They are not mad at me, they just feel sorry for me and worry about me, exchanging ideas on why my head would make all of this up.

My Dad was a counselor before he retired, so he says he's willing to listen to me anytime. I guess I should be glad, but he just doesn't get it.

He says he could never know whether my brother (perp) or I am telling the truth. He comes up with theories about what is really bothering me. He does not answer my questions about why he watched me masturbate (clothed)without saying anything.

They are all so full of crap.
 
They get it. They just can't face, even at a distance, the things that we were FORCED to face, at least in part because of their failures.
 
Andrei,

I think ADEN hit the nail on the head! Your father cannot handle it, because he doesn't want to handle it or believe it ever happened. Whether he admits it or not, he probably feels somewhat responsible for putting you in that position with the coach. He can't handle it, and until he can, he will continue to make up bogus reasons for not acknowledging it or for not attending therapy. You are a braver person than I am. I will take this "secret" to the grave before I tell my parents.
 
Andrei,

The others are right. He may not be ready or willing to face this because it makes him feel guilty about not protecting you.

I am glad you are going to continue therapy. That is a strong and courageous thing to do.

Marc
 
After reading this, is it any wonder that nobody tells anybody about what happened.

The denial of family can be devastating, and for a counsellor it is unprofessional to say the least.

I grieve....

ste
 
Andrei,

Are you a freak? No.

Are you crazy? No.

Are you getting help because you need it? Yes.

Are you still a man EVEN THOUGH you need help? Oh Hell Yeah!

Please listen to everyone. They're right, you know.

Still amazes me that, after all these years, after everything we know about abuse, it's effects, mental illness, etc., that people consider it a stigma. It's a stigma even if it's not them, but FAMILY, who has it!

Screw that. Screw them. You're getting help and that's afrigging true measure of a man.

You, my friend, are more of a man than most people. You survived the horror of something you shouldn't had given you. You're getting help, even though others are afraid of what people think of THEM. That's courage. That's HEART.

I'm proud of you, (pardon, but revolutionary jargon is all I know in Russian, and we ARE comrades because of what we fight together) tovarisch. Spassiba (romanized sp?) for being my friend.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Andrei,

I understand fully the negative ideas our country has about therapy, and the mindset your father probably is in.

I know that you are recieving no support from him or your family on this so far. And perhaps none will be forthcoming, which is sad.

However, I do want you to know that I am very proud of you for continuing the therapy. I know how afraid of it you were to begin with, and you are doing very well with it. I am proud of you for standing up for what you need to do. And of course, you know that you are not a freak, not at all.

I wish you well always my friend.

leosha
 
Hello Andrei,
I give you tribute for this really great attempt!
It would be perfect that your father understand basic thing that you (his precious son) need his help and support but reality can be much different.
It is also important for you to not let your father's fear make you more distant from your family.
Keep going with your really impressive progress.

Regards,
Ivo
 
Good for you for sticking with the therapy. I'm sorry that your father is reacting this way. Perhaps he'll come around in time. But whatever happens, I hope you'll keep doing what's best for you.
 
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