The Bluefoot

Ok I am back from the doctor, They drawn blood and will let me know in 2 days how my numbers are. I don't except them to be good. and the doctor and I had a good heart to heart talk. I gained 20 pounds in 3 months not good at all. He told me and he is right and many others have told me the same thing. I need to for give myself for the things I did bad 30 years ago. If I for give myself I will become unstuck in life and I will be able to go on. My health will get better, and mental I feel better and I be able to help others that I have been work on.

The question is how do I for give myself. Last year I said I was sorry to about 20 people and one of them decide to sue me. Plus he made up things that I did to him. I only hit him it was assault 27 years ago. Why don't I forgiving myself. Thou I for give every one else who has done much worst things. The question is why? Looking for help how to do this change.