Forgiveness

[Mike Church]

I have been thinking a lot about this word lately. Forgiveness. The act of forgiving. Some will tell me that it is important to forgive the person who has wronged you. Only that can set you free. Now there are some of us, no doubt, who can do this. They do it for themeselves not for the perp.

Now I dont know about you guys but I could never and will never be able to do that. NO EFFEN WAY.

But there is someone I can forgive and that is MYSELF. I can forgive myself for all the lies I believed, for the guilt and shame I carried, for the behaviours that led me to be a male prostitute and drug addict, for being an alcoholic, for not being the father I wanted to be. NOW THAT TYPE OF FORGIVENESS IS WHAT MATTERS TO ME.

I think it is important for me to do that because that is the only way I can reclaim my dignity ( another word for self esteem, respect and worth). Without my DIGNITY I will continue to be less than what I want to be and I cannot let that happen.

ONLY THEN AM I FREE

 

[Wuamei]

Mike:

If you put forgiveness or forgive in the search you'll find lots of recent threads on forgiveness.

Won't add to my contributions there at this point.

As you say opinions and actions vary concerning this, a difficult matter for us survivors.

One things I think for sure. Forgiving ourselves, as well as sorting out the things we need not forgive ourselves for becuz we didn't do anything wrong, is key.

Until I can really do that forgiving others for me is a moot point, whether I should or shouldn't

Victor

 

[Lloydy]

Mike
I know my tag line has a quote about forgiving, and I do believe we should try and forgive whoever it is we're angry with, like Sartre says "die light".
Anger is a hell of a load to lug around for life.

I've never really experienced anger towards my perps though, I hate them yes. But I've never been consumed with the hatred, anger and venom that would dominate my life. In fact I feel very neutral towards them, they figure so little in my life and thoughts that they're no more important than dog shit on the sidewalk, I'd rather it wasn't there, but I can get around it.

My anger was all directed inwards at myself, some still is. That's why Sartre makes so much sense to me.

Dave